[mainepatsfan]

Smith practiced with the Vikings today but for some reason he didn't want to talk to the media.

[TruthShallSetYouFree]

"That's my story and I'm sticking to it," is the punch line from an old joke

The derivation of that phrase, as I heard it (correct me if I'm wrong) is as follows:

A major-league baseball player and his family were in Florida for spring training. The regular season was fast approaching and they had packed up most of their household goods, awaiting the trip north. The ballplayer stayed out all night, and staggered into the kitchen the next morning. His wife asked him where the hell he had been all night.

"Well, dear, I came home at about 11 pm and didn't want to wake you or the kids, so I slept in the hammock on the porch."

"Honey, we packed up the hammock two days ago."

(Brief pause) "Well, that's my story and I'm sticking to it."

[tet68]

a device called the Whizzinator – which is an artificial penis which carries its own supply of urine

I'm pretty sure Hillery! has one of these, I know I
've seen a pic of her standing in the men's room.

I wonder if hers comes with batteries.

[eeriegeno]

Way back in the Slick Nineties, Bill Clinton famously plea-bargained an apology on the issue of drug use by admitting to having smoked marijuana without inhaling. Recently, a Minnesota Viking running back named Onterrio Smith was found to be in possession of a device called the Whizzinator – which is an artificial penis which carries its own supply of urine and can be used to produce a drug free sample upon demand. Smith, who obviously studied at Slick Willie's knee when it comes to plea- bargaining, told investigators he was taking the stuff to his cousin. Use it himself to phony up a random NFL drug test? Moi? Then again, there's the celebrated Macaulay Culkin, the former child actor, who testified in court that while he did indeed sleep with Michael Jackson out there in Neverland, neither he nor Jackson inhaled, exhaled or took their pants off. Is that believable? It depends, I suppose, on what your definition of is is.

I love it Jay. You have a unique and humorous way of defining reality.......

Now, only if the rest of America would see things your way, maybe we might move this country forward and out of the gutter?