France claims cultural victory over America

France claimed a significant victory last night in its relentless battle against the march of American culture with the adoption of internationally-backed protections.

Supported notably by Canada, France was the driving force behind a "cultural diversity" convention agreed by 148 of the 154 countries which took part in the vote at the Paris general conference of the United Nations arts and culture agency, Unesco.

America was virtually isolated, with Israel the only other country to vote against the treaty and four nations abstaining.

It failed to force through a series of amendments to weaken the text, which reaffirms the rights of countries to "protect and promote the diversity of cultural expressions".

For the French establishment, indignant at failures to resist invasion of "Anglo-Saxon" - which usually means English speaking - entertainment, the treaty amounts to a "manifesto for an alternative globalisation".

The Left-of-centre French daily Le Monde gloated that the "incredible mobilisation" by Unesco members had for once left the US alone.

France devotes huge resources to protecting francophone arts, spending many millions of pounds each year to prop up French cinema, theatre and opera.

But that is not enough to satisfy the influential cultural lobby and a string of single-interest trade groups.

Commentators routinely deplore the perceived simplistic morality and emotional shallowness of American cinema, as well as the cheap thrills of Euro Disney, despite their popularity.

This week, a group representing record shops launched a campaign against a France Telecom plan to make tracks from Madonna's new album available to mobile phones.

The courts even ruled that the First World War film, A Very Long Engagement, starring Audrey Tautou, was not French enough to qualify for state subsidies.

Rival French film makers objected because most of the production budget was met by Warner Bros through its French subsidiary. Yet the film was made in France and in French, with a French cast and production team, providing work for 2,200 people.

Britain supports the convention but not without differences of interpretation that could trigger future rows.

Renaud Donnedieu de Vabres, the French culture minister, hailed the "recognition that culture is not merchandise like any other".

the Frogs have been drinking too much of their own sour wine probably because it does not sell in the U.S. anymore.

France, along with the rest of Europe, is in deep doo doo.

The EU flopped.

Trade balances are meaningless.

Third world immigration hss swamped every nation except Switzerland. The city center of every major European city, Rome, Berlin, London, Paris is a hotbed of rising crime, drugs and anarchy that out of control.

The tax base has almost disappeared. Balanced budgets are unheard of. Recessions are the norm.

As in all collectivist nations, productivity shrinks lower and lower.

Immigrant birth rates are skyrocketing while the birth rate of Europeans have been in decline for years.

A Socialism, that infests every European country, is following its inevitable course that leads to economic and social collapse.

COMPLETE MILITARY HISTORY OF FRANCE

Gallic Wars - Lost. In a war whose ending foreshadows the next 2000 years of French history, France is conquered by of all things, an Italian.

Hundred Years War - Mostly lost, saved at last by female schizophrenic who inadvertently creates The First Rule of French Warfare; "France's armies are victorious only when NOT led by a Frenchman."

Italian Wars - Lost. France becomes the first and only country to ever lose two wars -- when fighting Italians.

Wars of Religion - France goes 0-5-4 against the Huguenots.

Thirty Years War - France is technically not a participant, but manages to get invaded anyway. Claims a tie on the basis that eventually the other participants started ignoring her.

War of Devolution - Tied. Frenchmen take to wearing red flower pots as chapeaux.

The Dutch War - Tied.

War of the Augsburg League / King William's War / French and Indian War -Lost, but claimed as a tie. Three ties in a row induces deluded Frogophiles the world over to label the period as the height of French military power.

War of the Spanish Succession - Lost. The War also gave the French their first taste of a Marlborough, which they have loved ever since.

American Revolution - In a move that will become quite familiar to future Americans, France claims a win even though the English colonists saw far more action. This is later known as "de Gaulle Syndrome", and leads to the Second Rule of French Warfare; "France only wins when America does most of the fighting."

French Revolution - Won, primarily due the fact that the opponent was also French.

The Napoleonic Wars - Lost. Temporary victories (remember the First Rule!) due to leadership of a Corsican, who ended up being no match for a British footwear designer.

The Franco-Prussian War - Lost. Germany first plays the role of drunk Frat boy to France's ugly girl home alone on a Saturday night.

World War I - Tied and on the way to losing, France is saved by the United States. Thousands of French women find out what it's like to not only sleep with a winner, but one who doesn't call her "Fraulein." Sadly, widespread use of condoms by American forces forestalls any improvement in the French bloodline.

World War II - Lost. Conquered French liberated by the United States and Britain just as they finish learning the Horst Wessel Song.

War in Indochina - Lost. French forces plead sickness, take to bed with the Dien Bien Flu.

Algerian Rebellion - Lost. Loss marks the first defeat of a western army by a Non-Turkic Muslim force since the Crusades, and produces the First Rule of Muslim Warfare; "We can always beat the French." This rule is identical to the First Rules of the Italians, Russians, Germans, English, Dutch, Spanish, Vietnamese and Esquimaux.

War Against Greenpeace - Lost. 1985, the Greenpeace ship Rainbow Warrior prepares to sail for Moruroa Atoll for a major campaign against French nuclear testing. Agents of the DGSE [secret service] bomb and sink the ship in Auckland Harbor. I tree-hugger sans tree drowns. Six weeks later agents Prieur and Mafart plead guilty to charges of manslaughter and willful damage. They get sentences of 10 years and 7 years. French Prime Minister Fabius admits to state terrorism on TV.

War on Terrorism - France, keeping in mind its recent history, surrenders to Germans and Muslims just to be safe. Attempts to surrender to Vietnamese ambassador fail after he takes refuge in a McDonald's.

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