London - Bird flu found in parrot in UK quarantine-ministry

Reuters | October 21, 2005

[Doogle]

..little known fact is that this particular parrot (named Jake)lived with the clintons when they first moved to NY, along with "Buddy". Soon after the move,Buddy the first dog,
didn't look both ways one morning and,well.....a former FBI agent remember hearing someone whistle.
Jake,on the other hand,after hearing about Buddy,put two and two together and literally flew the coop. It was Jake who first introduced Monica to late night pizzas.
The DNC,through Howard Dean and Cindy Sheehan will be releasing official accounts, and will be there to squash
any GOP inquiries.


Doogle

[Termite_Commander]

Squirrel plague.

SSCS (Sudden Squirrel Combustion Syndrome).

Squirrel Flu.

Heck, any will do.

[Ol' Dan Tucker]

More details here.:

"The parrot was part of a mixed consignment of 148 birds that arrived on September 16, the ministry said. They were held with another consignment of 216 birds from Taiwan."

[brytlea]

SSCS sounds right dangerous! I can imagine the little dude catching the trees on fire as he darted around! 8-0

susie

[manwiththehands]

This is an ex-parrot.

[Ol' Dan Tucker]

Technically, it died in Surinam, not the UK, as it never left quarantine. Ho hum..

See my post #23. These parrots were kept in quarantine with 216 birds from Taiwan.

I guess you could say, technically, they've been to Taiwan, too.

[From many - one.]

Thanks for the ping.

So the Taiwanese birds could have been carriers...had mild cases or something and the parrot got it from them.

[Mat_Helm]

Mr. Praline : I'll tell you what's wrong with it, my lad. It's dead, that's what's wrong with it. Owner : No, no, 'e's ah... he's resting. Mr. Praline : Look, matey, I know a dead parrot when I see one, and I'm looking at one right now. Owner : No no, h-he's not dead, he's, he's restin'! Mr. Praline : Restin'? Owner : Y-yeah, restin.' Remarkable bird, the Norwegian Blue, isn't it, eh? Beautiful plumage! Mr. Praline : The plumage don't enter into it. It's stone dead! Owner : Nononono, no, no! 'E's resting!

[Ol' Dan Tucker]

So the Taiwanese birds could have been carriers...had mild cases or something and the parrot got it from them.

You're welcome.

That's what it sounds like to me. The authorities still don't know exactly which strain this might be.

[Ditter]

We have tons of squirrels here and it's really kind of fun watching them try to get into the bird feeders. I have a Bird feeder hanging from a tree limb with a clear plastic dome hanging over it. The squirrel will come down the chain and then be spread eagle over the top of the plastic dome. When they try to get to the feed from there they always fall off. Then I have 2 feeders that are inside a wire cage. Most of the squirrels are too big to get inside but one little guy can do it. When I see him in there I go outside and watch him panic because he has forgotten how to get out. Quite entertaining, but then I am easily amused. ;9)

[areafiftyone]

He's Not Dead He's just Resting!

[Termite_Commander]

You just perfectly described one of my feeders. It's a green tube feeder with a cage built around it to keep squirrels out. There used to be one or two squirrels who would squeeze in there, and then I'd walk out and they'd go hysterical and run in hi-speed loops around the interior of the feeder until it finally occurred to him/her that they could go back out through the bars again.

Tremendously amusing. =P

Nowadays however, the squirrels simply knock the feeder off its mount and roll it off.

[Redcloak]

A customer enters a pet shop.

Customer: 'Ello, I wish to register a complaint.

(The owner does not respond.)

Customer: 'Ello, Miss?
Owner: What do you mean "miss"?
Customer: I'm sorry, I have a cold. I wish to make a complaint!
Owner: We're closin' for lunch.
Customer: Never mind that, my lad. I wish to complain about this parrot what I
purchased not half an hour ago from this very boutique.
Owner: Oh yes, the, uh, the Norwegian Blue...What's,uh...What's wrong with it?
Customer: I'll tell you what's wrong with it, my lad. 'E's dead, that's what's
wrong with it!
Owner: No, no, 'e's uh,...he's resting.
Customer: Look, matey, I know a dead parrot when I see one, and I'm looking
at one right now.
Owner: No no he's not dead, he's, he's restin'! Remarkable bird, the Norwegian
Blue, idn'it, ay? Beautiful plumage!
Customer: The plumage don't enter into it. It's stone dead.
Owner: Nononono, no, no! 'E's resting!
Customer: All right then, if he's restin', I'll wake him up!
(shouting at the cage)
'Ello, Mister Polly Parrot! I've got a lovely fresh cuttle fish for you if
you show...(owner hits the cage)
Owner: There, he moved!
Customer: No, he didn't, that was you hitting the cage!
Owner: I never!!
Customer: Yes, you did!
Owner: I never, never did anything...
Customer: (yelling and hitting the cage repeatedly) 'ELLO POLLY!!!!!
Testing! Testing! Testing! Testing! This is your nine o'clock alarm call!

(Takes parrot out of the cage and thumps its head on the counter. Throws it up
in the air and watches it plummet to the floor.)

Customer: Now that's what I call a dead parrot.
Owner: No, no.....No, 'e's stunned!
Customer: STUNNED?!?
Owner: Yeah! You stunned him, just as he was wakin' up! Norwegian Blues
stun easily, major.
Customer: Um...now look...now look, mate, I've definitely 'ad enough of this.
That parrot is definitely deceased, and when I purchased it not 'alf an hour
ago, you assured me that its total lack of movement was due to it bein'
tired and shagged out following a prolonged squawk.
Owner: Well, he's...he's, ah...probably pining for the fjords.
Customer: PININ' for the FJORDS?!?!?!? What kind of talk is that?, look, why
did he fall flat on his back the moment I got 'im home?
Owner: The Norwegian Blue prefers kippin' on it's back! Remarkable bird, id'nit,
squire? Lovely plumage!
Customer: Look, I took the liberty of examining that parrot when I got it home,
and I discovered the only reason that it had been sitting on its perch in
the first place was that it had been NAILED there.

(pause)

Owner: Well, o'course it was nailed there! If I hadn't nailed that bird down,
it would have nuzzled up to those bars, bent 'em apart with its beak, and
VOOM! Feeweeweewee!
Customer: "VOOM"?!? Mate, this bird wouldn't "voom" if you put four million volts
through it! 'E's bleedin' demised!
Owner: No no! 'E's pining!
Customer: 'E's not pinin'! 'E's passed on! This parrot is no more! He has ceased
to be! 'E's expired and gone to meet 'is maker! 'E's a stiff! Bereft
of life, 'e rests in peace! If you hadn't nailed 'im to the perch 'e'd be
pushing up the daisies! 'Is metabolic processes are now 'istory! 'E's off
the twig! 'E's kicked the bucket, 'e's shuffled off 'is mortal coil, run
down the curtain and joined the bleedin' choir invisibile!!
THIS IS AN EX-PARROT!!

[Paloma_55]

Reminds me of a friend's Minah Bird.

He bought it, and shortly thereafter came upon a bad case of pneumonia. He hacked for three weeks after getting the bird which resided in his bedroom, so the bird was exposed to his constant hacking.

After that, the bird would hack and cough lungers all the time.

What a hoot!!

Haacck...gugh.. wahhhaaahaggghh...geaaggaahhaa haaaaackckkahhkkkk!!

[spanalot]

I gah a slug!

[Disambiguator]

Dead + Parrot = Monty Python posts up the wazoo. I was not disappointed by this thread!

[southernnorthcarolina]

A woman went to a pet shop and immediately spotted a large, beautiful parrot. There was a sign on the cage that said $50.00.

"Why so little?" she asked the pet store owner.

The owner looked at her and said, "Look, I should tell you first that this bird used to live in a house of prostitution, and sometimes it says some pretty vulgar stuff."
 
The woman thought about this, but decided she had to have the bird anyway. She took it home and hung the bird's cage up in her living room and waited for it to say something.

The bird looked around the room, then at her, and said, "New house, new madam."

The woman was a bit shocked at the implication, but then thought "That's really not so bad."

When her two teenage daughters returned from school, the bird saw and said, "New house, new madam, new girls." The girls and the woman were a bit offended but then began to laugh about the situation considering how and where the parrot had been raised.

Moments later, the woman's husband, Keith, came home from work.

The bird looked at him and said, "Hi, Keith."
 

[RedBloodedAmerican]

Your second post on fr and you stole the best line. You ought to be ashamed of yourself. Quoting Monty is not available until you have been here one year.

[bobdsmith]

LOL

[Lazamataz]

This parrot was imported from Suriname, South America.

Meaning H5N1 is in our hemisphere.