The first journalist with a clue that Cheney was using the famous beer stein revolver, borrowed from the Smithsonian. Hard to tell what you hit once the foam starts flying.
Posted on 02/20/2006 3:45:41 PM PST by SJackson
Goodness gracious! Could it be that comedians are doing a better job of connecting the dots regarding Dick Cheney's high crimes and misdemeanors than are the unintentionally ridiculous members of the White House press corps?
"Huntergate" is certainly worthy of coverage, especially now that the vice president has admitted to downing a beer before shooting a fellow hunter. But the on-bended-knee "reporters" who hang around the briefing room waiting for a presidential spokesman to feed them their daily diet of spin look pretty absurd chasing after this particular story with so much gusto while they continue to ignore the big picture of Cheney's misuse of intelligence data before and after the invasion of Iraq and his role in schemes to punish critics of the administration.
If the Bush administration's court reporters are not quite up to the job of holding the vice president to account, however, the nation's fearless comedians are.
"Good news, ladies and gentlemen," announced David Letterman after news of the vice presidential shooting spree finally came out. "We have finally located weapons of mass destruction: It's Dick Cheney."
Letterman scored another direct hit when he observed: "It turns out now that Dick Cheney did not have a license to hunt, and coincidentally, it turns out we didn't have a license to go into Iraq."
Jay Leno was equally on target when he explained, "You can't blame (Cheney). Bush says you can spy on people without warrants, you can torture people, you can hold people without a trial, so Dick Cheney thinks, 'Oh what the hell, I can shoot a few guys.' "
Ultimately, however, it was "The Daily Show" correspondent Rob Corddry who hit the bull's-eye, when he reported that "the vice president is standing by his decision to shoot Harry Whittington. Now, according to the best intelligence available, there were quail hidden in the brush. Everyone believed at the time there were quail in the brush. And while the quail turned out to be a 78-year-old man, even knowing that today, Mr. Cheney insists he still would have shot Mr. Whittington in the face. He believes the world is a better place for his spreading buckshot throughout the entire region of Mr. Whittington's face."
All seriousness aside, there is a good deal of humor to be found in the fact that members of the White House press corps have finally been roused to mount the journalistic barricades by a hunting accident. While they cannot be counted on to go after the big stories, they are unrelenting in their determination to get to the bottom of every tale of celebrity folly - be it Britney Spears' failure to place her baby in a car seat or Dick Cheney's inability to shoot straight after he's downed a cold one.
But, as in the days when Pravda and Tass could not be relied upon to go after the big stories of Soviet shenanigans, Americans now know that, for the full story about this administration, they must turn to the comedians and the satirists who understand that Cheney's problems with beer and guns cannot compare with his abuse of the most powerful vice presidency in American history.
John Nichols is the associate editor of The Capital Times, Wisconsin's progressive daily newspaper. He is the author of "The Rise and Rise of Richard B. Cheney: Unlocking the Mysteries of the Most Powerful Vice President in American History" (The New Press). Published: February 20, 2006
The first journalist with a clue that Cheney was using the famous beer stein revolver, borrowed from the Smithsonian. Hard to tell what you hit once the foam starts flying.
Wasn't it like a full 4 hours before the hunt that VP Cheney had a single beer?
Big deal.
"Cheney's defense is that he was aiming at a quail when he shot the guy. Which means that Cheney now has the worst aim of anyone in the White House since Bill Clinton."
--Jay Leno
"Dick Cheney accidentally shot a fellow hunter, a 78-year-old lawyer. In fact, when people found out he shot a lawyer, his popularity is now at 92 percent."
--Jay Leno
Neat mug. Might have to use the design for the "Moon Prize" at the gun club!
yea, lets listen to what liberal comedians have to say on the issue.
I never found the Daily Show humorous. The quote from it in the article isn't particularly funny, either. And the author of this piece, who strains to the utmost to project an air of levity, doesn't have it, either.
Surprisingly, we actually had several. :)
We even got renewals before the originals had expired.
Surprisingly, we actually had several. :)
We even got renewals before the originals had expired.
Oh...and Cheney had a liscence to hunt. What he didn't have was a new stamp for a regional hunting of a particular type of game.
Thanks for posting this! I read it earlier today and almost pinged you but I spent the rest of the day with my head in the toilet after reading it, LOL!
Nichols is SUCH a doorknob, isn't he? He wrote that lovely missive about kids and hunting the other day too, didn't he? Such raw talent! I can't BELIEVE it's wasted in a city of only 200K. He needs to be "promoted" to a National Forum...much in the same way that we got rid of Feingold. *Smirk*
Most entertaining paper in the country.
That's a shooters mug!
I object to that!
...EXTRA!...EXTRA!...EXTRA!...
I have more New York Slimes Editions on my FR Homepage and my Archives Page
ROFLMBO!!!
Instead of a contract, perhaps a bounty? $25 for sam donaldson's toupee? $50 for a pair of dan rather's suspenders?
Watch the Daily Show semi-regularly. They stretched a bit for the joke in question but overall it was funny
"John Nichols is the associate editor of The Capital Times, Wisconsin's progressive daily newspaper. He is the author of "The Rise and Rise of Richard B. Cheney: Unlocking the Mysteries of the Most Powerful Vice President in American History" (The New Press). Published: February 20, 2006"
Nichols plugging his book. Something tells me it will never appear on any best seller list. Not even in Madison.
LOLOL! Thanks!
They were the only ones who could afford to pay the bribe...
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