NoSpace.com for Kids

FamilySecurityMatters.com ^ | 4/20/06 | Susan Konig

[wagglebee]

My daughter wants a screen name. She says she needs to instant message her friends.

 

First of all, she’s only eleven. She doesn’t need to instant anything to anyone.

 

Secondly, she doesn’t have a computer. I’m the one who has a computer and I need it for work and the kids already think it’s ridiculous that I have 334 messages in my inbox and we don’t really have time for others tying up the computer.

 

And the one time I let the kids download a game from some kid friendly

cartoon online site, my hard drive crashed. It may have been a coincidence but I can’t afford that kind of technical aggravation.

 

Here’s the other thing: what are kids going to IM each other for?

 

I think I know what it is. With the Internet, kids can reach out to each other at any time and have a private conversation without being overheard. It’s the trend. It’s cool and everyone’s doing it. She feels left out. She even got her friends to ask me.

 

“We all have instant messaging, Mrs. Konig,” they said in a sincere way.

 

“But she doesn’t need it.”

 

“But we like to talk to her.”

 

“Well, here she is, so talk away.”

 

“But when we’re not together, we can still talk to each other online.”

 

“She has permission to use the telephone. You can call our house at any reasonable hour.”

 

“But IMing is fun.”

 

And my daughter feels she is missing on the fun.

 

But it’s also on the Internet and the Internet is not a kids’ play space. It is everything in the world accessible to anyone who touches the keyboard right in one’s very own home. As Fr. Dunn, the priest at our church and school, told parents on Back-to-School night, “Parents who allow their child to have a high-speed internet connection in the bedroom or on the cell phone would save the family money if they just gave the kid $100 and sent them to Bangkok for two weeks. You can quote me on that.”

 

He’s right. In the simple course of searching the Internet for a project I was working on about young girls, the amount of pornographic materials I came across was mind boggling.

 

Already there are problems amongst my daughter’s group of classmates. People with unfamiliar screen names are IMing her friends and saying mean things. Girls are freaking out. It’s probably the boys in the class playing a joke but, with the Internet, you just don’t know.

 

Whenever I tell my daughter she can’t do something, she takes it to heart, as if it is a shortcoming of hers, a lack of faith on my part in her abilities to make the right choices, do the proper thing.

 

It’s hard for kids to wrap their minds around the fact that there are predators out there, that the Internet is not a safe place for children to go unattended. With the vast number of educational resources and game/fun sites to visit, they can’t understand that there are limitless ways to get in trouble.

 

With all the spam blockers and virus software I’ve invested in, my spam file is still full of gross messages. I wouldn’t want my kids to glimpse the subject lines. Even when a friend or relative sends a funny web site of talking dogs or singing cars they think the kids might enjoy, we have to be careful that the site doesn’t also feature inappropriate material, which it usually does.

 

And last week, MySpace.com, the Internet social networking site with 65 million members worldwide, hired a security expert to make it safer for kids. News Corp., which owns the site, hired Hemanshu Nigam, who was the director of consumer security outreach and child safe computing at the Microsoft Corporation, to oversee safety on the site that has a reputation as a place where sexual predators prowl.

 

Nigam was also a federal prosecutor against Internet child exploitation for the U.S. Department of Justice, an adviser to a Congressional commission on online child safety, and an adviser to the White House on cyber stalking, according to the New York Times.

 

The principal of our parochial school, which only goes up to eighth grade, sent a letter home warning us about myspace.com and warning parents not to allow children to post their personal information there.

 

I signed on to see what the teens who post on MySpace are up to. I picked a young college student at random and immediately found offensive images and language on her site.

 

News Corp. announced it will also launch an advertising campaign, with the Advertising Council and the National Center for Missing and Exploited Children, to educate parents and young people about Internet safety. The AdCouncil, the nonprofit group behind the "A Mind Is a Terrible Thing to Waste" advertising campaign, will partner with New Corp. to run public service announcements. The spots will caution young people to be more skeptical of strangers who approach them online, the Times reported.

 

What ever happened to don’t talk to strangers, period.

[wagglebee]

What ever happened to don’t talk to strangers, period.

Excellent advice!

[wagglebee]

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DISCUSSION ABOUT:

"NoSpace.com for Kids"

This is a great commentary on keeping children safe from predators on the internet.

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[lesser_satan]

Good article.

I find it amazing that so many parents won't even let their kids leave the house unsupervised, but will let them access god-knows-what online with no supervision.

[King Prout]

But it’s also on the Internet and the Internet is not a kids’ play space. It is everything in the world accessible to anyone who touches the keyboard right in one’s very own home. As Fr. Dunn, the priest at our church and school, told parents on Back-to-School night, “Parents who allow their child to have a high-speed internet connection in the bedroom or on the cell phone would save the family money if they just gave the kid $100 and sent them to Bangkok for two weeks. You can quote me on that.”

Father Dunn has a brain.

[Knitting A Conundrum]

And this is why my kid wasn't allowed an internet connection of his own. Still ended up with a myspace account, but not because I let him. He did it at friends' houses. Sigh. But at least it wasn't as convenient.

[King Prout]

I have recently become aware of MySpace.
I have not formed a favorable impression of it.

[dawn53]

Friend's house, library, school...kids will get on the internet.

IMHO, the best way to deal with it is to talk straight to them about what is on the internet, what sites not to visit, and what not to post and why.

We actually solved the problem of wanting to be connected to friends by allowing our son to set up his own website and forum so his friends can communicate with each other that way (he was about 14 at the time.) The kids seem to enjoy it, we monitored the site...He's lost interest now (due to a busy schedule) but we maintain the site and the kids that belong are amazing. Those that have been made moderators "police" the others for language and content.

[Lizavetta]

Whenever I tell my daughter she can’t do something, she takes it to heart, as if it is a shortcoming of hers, a lack of faith on my part in her abilities to make the right choices, do the proper thing.

I doubt it's that complicated, honey.

She wants what she wants when she wants it......just like all other kids in our universe.

And why are kids so desperate to be connected and talking to one another all the time? Shaddup already and go read a book.

[MitchellC]

Good call by the mother. Browse Myspace and you'll see that most of the girls use it to get attention by dressing/posing like sluts for strangers.

[jamaly]

Bump for later.

[Knitting A Conundrum]

My boy has pushed the limits alot...sigh. He's starting to grow up now, but its been a hard row to hoe.

[wagglebee]

Browse Myspace and you'll see that most of the girls use it to get attention by dressing/posing like sluts for strangers.

From what I've seen most parents don't seem to mind if their daughters go out in public dressed like sluts either.

[JLS]

Do you similarly not have a phone or don't let your kids talk on the phone? Computers are just like any technology. They can be used for good, saving your life in an emergency or reading FR, or for ill wasting time. Of course if it is a business computer, then you certainly have good reason to not let your kids use yours.

So I certainly would not try to tell you how to run your family. Some people do not let their kids talk on the phone or do not let their kids watch tv. But some people are also intimidated by technology and use protecting the kids as an excuse to avoid technology that comes along when they are adults but readily accept the tech from their youth?

[theFIRMbss]

>First of all, she’s only eleven. She doesn’t need to instant anything to anyone.

This is a parent
without a clue to the world
their daughter lives in.

[dawn53]

Yeah, they do that...stand your ground.

Mine is coming out the other end (just turned 18) and things have gotten a lot easier, so hang in there...they do grow up and it's worth the struggle.

[Knitting A Conundrum]

Me either, but it's typical teenageness...lots of talk about stuff teens are focused on. Wouldn't be so bad if they could keep the grownup predators out. Still, it's like high school....not enough positive adult interaction, too many kids with too much time on their hands. They tend to experiment with the dark.

I'm not approving, mind you. If it were my decision, we would eliminate co-ed high schools, send many, if not most kids out into old style apprenticeships where they learn on the job and have a lot of adult interaction, and outlaw a lot of what passes for entertainment suitable for young people.

I'm not in control, so that won't happen. Life goes on.

[wagglebee]

So, I take it you're in favor of letting children post all sorts of personal information on the internet even if this makes them prey for perverts?

I have no problem with children using the internet, but I think that parents also have an obligation to supervise their children.

[bondjamesbond]

As Fr. Dunn, the priest at our church and school, told parents on Back-to-School night, “Parents who allow their child to have a high-speed internet connection in the bedroom or on the cell phone would save the family money if they just gave the kid $100 and sent them to Bangkok for two weeks. You can quote me on that.”

It's obviously been a while since Father Dunn hung out in the brothels of Bangkok...(ha ha!)

Better give Junior $1000.

[wagglebee]

So your advice to parents is to allow their children unlimited freedom to do "what everyone else is doing"?

[RHINO369]

I wouldn't let my young daughter (if i had one) go on the internet by herself and I'm just about the most secularized pro technology person around.

I was around 12 when my family got a internet connection (1997) and man there was a ton of stuff you could do to get into trouble on there back then. Now add in the fact that everyone has a digital camera and highspeed connection. So you could end up finding your daughters privates on myspace, and then you'd have to kill yourself. Or she could run off with some pervert she met online.

I think the best way of doing it is having a family computer and telling your kids that you can see everything they do on there.