I'm offering to pay for the roundtrip ticket for next August/2007... you'll be back in California within 96 hours. I'm offering, or as usual, spooked to be publicly outed as a liar that we all know you are. You know how to contact me on here and private email.
You're forgetting ma, Hoplite is a product of the "don't ask don't tell" military edict, he would need a supply truck full of Depends just to sustain himself during the excursion.