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Keith Olbermann's "A Clockwork Strawberry" (Iowahawk)
iowahawk ^ | 09 29 06 | David Burge

Posted on 09/27/2006 9:15:44 PM PDT by IowaHawk

[ed. - Found under a pile of discarded MSNBC Nielsen Ratings: first draft of fringe cable TV superstar Keith Olberman's Howard Beale moment]

By Keith Olbermann
Editor and Chief, MSNBC "Meltdown with Keith Olbermann"

And now, turning to the headlines.

The headlines are, of course, entirely wrong.

Nevermind the fonts, which are totally misleading.

Thus it is surely not essential that a revered and beloved past president, pistol-whipped and sandbagged by a subhuman terrorist monkey with a microphone, finally lashed back with a raw, sinewy panther-like ferocity that sent his primate interlocutor scurrying back for the safety of Roger Ailes’ banyan tree.

Nor is it not important, in the infinitesimal cosmic clockwork of simian Beltway irony or lack thereof, that the current President’s prefab peanut gallery of poo-flinging psychedelic missing links has described his predecessor’s tone as “crazed.”

Insofar as it is as it is, in the words of founding father John Quincy Fillmore, "shan't not our very tone be encrazed?" Good, old fashioned batsh*t gravel-munching crazy, for, in such times as such are these, that the nation’s freedoms are under assault by an administration whose policies can do us as much damage as al-Qaeda; when, and in which the nation’s groundwater of ideas has been flouridated by the poisonous propaganda of heinous Fox play-by-play "homers," in bias so blatant that it would prompt Harry Caray puke a rainbow arc of Budweiser vomit from his pressbox cloud during 7th inning stretch at the friendly confines of heaven’s celestial Wrigley Field. No, citizen, these are insane times when the only sane response is to hop aboard Ozzie Osborne’s Crazy Train, go to the dining car for the all-U-can-eat bat head & psilocybin buffet, and, in the words of founding father George Jefferson, move on up to that dee-luxe apartment in the skybox of CrazyCom stadium.

Nonetheless. The headline is this:

Bill Clinton did what almost none of us have done in five years.

He wisely watched Keith Olbermann on MSNBC.

Afterwards he dare bespoke the truth about 9/11, and the current presidential administration.

"At least I tried," he said of his own efforts to capture or kill Osama bin Laden. "That’s the difference in me and some, including all of the right-wingers who are attacking me now. They had eight months to try; they did not try. I tried. I really really extremely really tried. They didn't try and I did, and this is the real difference, the trying. And also, I tried."

Thus and forthwith in his supposed emeritus years hath Mr. Clinton dispatched a forceful and triumphant action for honesty, and for us; in one virile act at once vital and as courageous as it was a brilliant tour de force of Churchillesquian statesmanship, Mr. Clinton assured his immortality as the sage of this dark time, the sexually electric love child begotten of a tryst between Voltaire, Thomas Moore, Gandhi and Ron Jeremy.


TOPICS: Miscellaneous; Political Humor/Cartoons
KEYWORDS: iowahawk; nutbag; olbermann
For the rest of the KO meltdown, click here
1 posted on 09/27/2006 9:15:46 PM PDT by IowaHawk
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To: IowaHawk; Howlin; onyx; Clemenza; Petronski; GummyIII; SevenofNine; martin_fierro; veronica; ...

pingaroonie


2 posted on 09/27/2006 9:18:40 PM PDT by EveningStar
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To: IowaHawk

I really don't believe this POS is on the air. Of course if no one watches, is he really on the air?


3 posted on 09/27/2006 9:19:07 PM PDT by Always Right
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To: IowaHawk; dighton

Excellent!


4 posted on 09/27/2006 9:20:24 PM PDT by Jean S
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To: IowaHawk

olbermann is a loser, goes without saying but just had to.


5 posted on 09/27/2006 9:25:12 PM PDT by Echo Talon
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To: IowaHawk
Oh Keith's getting extra gruel and spinach kool aid for that rant!
John Luvitz…watch your back!
6 posted on 09/27/2006 9:27:18 PM PDT by dgallo51 (DEMAND IMMEDIATE, OPEN INVESTIGATIONS OF U.S. COMPLICITY IN RWANDAN GENOCIDE!)
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To: IowaHawk

If Monaca Lewinsky ever turns down Bill Clinton for a ::cough cough:: i'm sure Olbermann would pay to take the job from her.


7 posted on 09/27/2006 9:27:18 PM PDT by Echo Talon
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To: IowaHawk

This is so very good that I have to give you one more bump before bed.


8 posted on 09/27/2006 9:28:52 PM PDT by Jean S
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To: IowaHawk

9 posted on 09/27/2006 9:29:39 PM PDT by ConservativeStatement
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To: IowaHawk
Possibly related.
10 posted on 09/27/2006 9:30:25 PM PDT by kinoxi
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To: IowaHawk

Brilliant!


11 posted on 09/27/2006 9:33:22 PM PDT by hole_n_one
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To: JeanS; IowaHawk

I remember Keith Olbermann when he was a local sportscaster in the LA area. Even then he came across as a sleazy leftist assclown.


12 posted on 09/27/2006 9:40:24 PM PDT by EveningStar
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To: IowaHawk

Wow. They must have to use extra make up to cover Mr. Keith's brown nose. My compliments to whomever takes care of that task.

I tried to watch the video but I just couldn't stomach the pillow biter's rant all the way to the end and had to dump it. They do tend to rant, don't they?


13 posted on 09/27/2006 9:42:07 PM PDT by Humidston (Houston - Don't feed jihad...DON'T SHOP ON HARWIN.)
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To: IowaHawk

I think he is talking about himself.


14 posted on 09/27/2006 10:48:20 PM PDT by Blind Eye Jones
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To: IowaHawk
Is this satire?



;-)
15 posted on 09/28/2006 8:14:19 AM PDT by BJClinton (What happens on Free Republic, stays on Google.)
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To: JeanS; IowaHawk; aculeus; Billthedrill; Senator Bedfellow; MozarkDawg
Thus and forthwith in his supposed emeritus years hath Mr. Clinton dispatched a forceful and triumphant action for honesty, and for us; in one virile act at once vital and as courageous as it was a brilliant tour de force of Churchillesquian statesmanship, Mr. Clinton assured his immortality as the sage of this dark time, the sexually electric love child begotten of a tryst between Voltaire, Thomas Moore, Gandhi and Ron Jeremy.

16 posted on 09/29/2006 9:43:48 AM PDT by dighton
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To: IowaHawk

So now the entire office knows I'm reading Iowahawk. You outdid yourself with this one. Sides hurting. BTT.


17 posted on 09/29/2006 10:12:14 AM PDT by Billthedrill
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To: dighton; IowaHawk

You're da man!


18 posted on 09/29/2006 2:21:02 PM PDT by aculeus
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To: dighton
"That’s the difference in me and some ...."

I don't really care to know what is different in him -- it's bad enough to know what is the same.

19 posted on 09/30/2006 6:17:37 AM PDT by MozarkDawg
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