Kids, we wanted you to have tasty snacks and drinks in school. But the Democrats outvoted us and made the school serve you that yucky stuff that tastes like rabbit turds and hippie crap.
Sorry.
The Conservatives
But wait a minute...wasn't it just a few short years ago that a bunch of weeping ACTRESSES were testifing on Capitol Hill that good old wholesome, healthy APPLES were poisoning our children? You'll NEVER win with these morons, so just stockpile your favorite snacks and eat them in your basement in complete darkness at 2am. Cripes. And you know it WILL come down to that, eventually. Heck, they've driven the Smokers underground, what makes us think 'The Foodies' aren't as powerful as the 'Smoke Gnaztzies?'
I like school lunch.