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My Father Was an Anonymous Sperm Donor
Washington Post ^ | 17 December 2006 | Katrina Clark

Posted on 12/18/2006 5:26:26 AM PST by shrinkermd

...I'm 18, and for most of my life, I haven't known half my origins...

...That part came from my father. The only thing was, I had never met him, never heard any stories about him, never seen a picture of him. I didn't know his name. My mother never talked about him -- because she didn't have a clue who he was.

When she was 32, my mother -- single, and worried that she might never marry and have a family -- allowed a doctor wearing rubber gloves to inject a syringe of sperm from an unknown man into her uterus so that she could have a baby. I am the result: a donor-conceived child....

...I was angry at the idea that where donor conception is concerned, everyone focuses on the "parents" -- the adults who can make choices about their own lives. The recipient gets sympathy for wanting to have a child. The donor gets a guarantee of anonymity and absolution from any responsibility for the offspring of his "donation." As long as these adults are happy, then donor conception is a success, right?

Not so. The children born of these transactions are people, too. Those of us in the first documented generation of donor babies -- conceived in the late 1980s and early '90s, when sperm banks became more common and donor insemination began to flourish.. I'm here to tell you that emotionally, many of us are not keeping up. We didn't ask to be born into this situation, with its limitations and confusion. It's hypocritical of parents and medical professionals to assume that biological roots won't matter to the "products" of the cryobanks' service, when the longing for a biological relationship is what brings customers to the banks in the first place.

(Excerpt) Read more at washingtonpost.com ...


TOPICS: Culture/Society; Editorial; Unclassified
KEYWORDS: father; liberalagenda; moralabsolutes; search; spermdonor
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To: maica

Yeah it would be much more preferred if she wasn't conceived at all right?


41 posted on 12/18/2006 6:48:33 AM PST by Lovebloggers
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To: shrinkermd

Ranch dressing anyone?


42 posted on 12/18/2006 6:50:15 AM PST by pipecorp ( Al Lahsucks boat steersman hell)
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To: Fishtalk
It's just...just not right. The whole process serves further to put fathers onto the sidelines and minimize their need.

That's the idea. First, make fathers obsolete. Ridicule them on TV Sitcoms, make cuckolds support their wife's Fun Offspring, persecute estranged fathers in the Courts, loot their assets and publish their names, and pretty soon, MEN will be obsolete, we can start aborting male fetuses, and will all have a wonderful lesbian society with no more war or pollution or rape.

Brought to you by the Supremist Organization of Women.(SOW)

43 posted on 12/18/2006 6:50:39 AM PST by Gorzaloon ("Illegal Immigrant": The Larval form of A Democrat.)
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To: maica

It has been reported that some lesbian deaf women look for deaf sperm donors - I have heard them interviewed on the radio.






Must have been a very quiet interview.


44 posted on 12/18/2006 6:51:31 AM PST by durasell (!)
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To: DB

If she was on food stamps, where'd she get the money for the procedure? [I assume the pre-natal and delivery were on the taxpayers].


45 posted on 12/18/2006 6:55:13 AM PST by PzLdr ("The Emperor is not as forgiving as I am" - Darth Vader)
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To: shrinkermd
Father figures can be intimidating:


46 posted on 12/18/2006 6:55:41 AM PST by Rb ver. 2.0
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To: ItsForTheChildren

A jar or can of turkey gravy.


47 posted on 12/18/2006 6:57:42 AM PST by PzLdr ("The Emperor is not as forgiving as I am" - Darth Vader)
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To: Lovebloggers

She is speaking out about her feelings and observations, in the hope of stopping others from being "created" with only half a history.

I read no whining or wishing that she wasn't born in her article.


48 posted on 12/18/2006 7:01:00 AM PST by maica (America will be a hyperpower that's all hype and no power -- if we do not prevail in Iraq)
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To: silverleaf
For the world's Ms Clarks, whether adopted or born from donated tissue - you don't like your life? Get in line.

Agreed. More whining from someone entitled to a perfect life.

I'm astonished that more people here are encouraging this self-indulgent drivel.

49 posted on 12/18/2006 7:01:05 AM PST by highball ("I never should have switched from scotch to martinis." -- the last words of Humphrey Bogart)
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To: durasell

LOL! No, just strange sounding English.


50 posted on 12/18/2006 7:02:27 AM PST by maica (America will be a hyperpower that's all hype and no power -- if we do not prevail in Iraq)
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To: cajungirl

Not gonna disagree with you.


51 posted on 12/18/2006 7:02:41 AM PST by Paloma_55 (I may be a hateful bigot, but I still love you)
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To: shrinkermd

to simi-orphan: I'd suggest you check out the "doctor wearing the glove"....get his DNA. He most likely he is your father.


52 posted on 12/18/2006 7:05:08 AM PST by Republican Babe (God bless America.)
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To: highball

I'm astonished at the lack of insight and compassion from commenters on a conservative website.

This writer is glad she is alive. She wants others to know that creating a kid for selfish reasons is selfish, that's all.


53 posted on 12/18/2006 7:05:17 AM PST by maica (America will be a hyperpower that's all hype and no power -- if we do not prevail in Iraq)
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To: PzLdr

I wonder if this complainer has concern for potential brothers and sisters who remain frozen awaiting the opportunity to be spun in centrifuges to harvest stem cells to fix Michael Fox and Arlen Specter.


54 posted on 12/18/2006 7:07:14 AM PST by ClaireSolt (Have you have gotten mixed up in a mish-masher?)
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To: shrinkermd
Geez, Louise, er... Katrina. Grow up. Nobody chose to be born but you're here now. Do something with your unwanted, unhappy life or just go away. But whatever you do, get off my computer screen and quit ruinin' MY life!

I was born in the wagon of a travellin' show
My mama used to dance for the money they'd throw...

55 posted on 12/18/2006 7:07:25 AM PST by Hatteras
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To: durasell

Quick google search:

http://www.guardian.co.uk/international/story/0,,680616,00.html


Lesbian couple have deaf baby by choice


David Teather in New York
Monday April 8, 2002
The Guardian

A lesbian couple in the US have attracted fierce criticism by deliberately having a deaf baby.
In an unexpected twist to the pursuit of "designer" offspring, the couple, who are both deaf, said they had wanted a child that would be like themselves. The four-month old boy is profoundly deaf in his left ear and has only residual hearing in his right.


56 posted on 12/18/2006 7:10:16 AM PST by maica (America will be a hyperpower that's all hype and no power -- if we do not prevail in Iraq)
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To: maica

Admirable sentiment, but buried in loads of "poor me" claptrap.

Many of us had upbringings that weren't ideal. But we got over it. Life's like that.

If she's so eager to say that others shouldn't have kids in such a way, then she's also saying that she shouldn't have been born, isn't she?


57 posted on 12/18/2006 7:11:53 AM PST by highball ("I never should have switched from scotch to martinis." -- the last words of Humphrey Bogart)
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To: shrinkermd

CLINTON!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!


58 posted on 12/18/2006 7:13:51 AM PST by Doc Savage ("You couldn't tame me, but you taught me.................")
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To: Paloma_55
When she was 32, my mother -- single, and extremely selfish--

I have to agree. I have a girlfriend who did the same thing at 38yrs old. In fact, she turned down a marriage proposal to a guy she adored.... because she wanted kids and he didn't.

Long story short.....she spent every dime she had to get her babies....boy and girl. The girl passed a couple years ago after a long, weary battle with a genetic disorder that really messed her up. (The donor had one other child with the same disorder, but it wasn't disclosed until she went for genetic testing while trying to get a diagnosis)

Now she's struggling with the boy who is angry, wanting to know who his father is ...threatening suicide ...and last I heard....under psychiatric care. Very sad.

59 posted on 12/18/2006 7:16:20 AM PST by LaineyDee (Don't mess with Texas wimmen!)
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To: shrinkermd

My heart goes out to the young lady who wrote this article.
My 13 year old daughter was told three years ago by her mother, my ex-wife, that I was not her biological father. While I was aware of the indiscretion that resulted in the pregnancy, I never though of my daughter as anything else. The emotional damage that has been done by revealing the facts of her conception has had devastating and long reaching consequences. I can only imagine how diminished a child would feel to know that her father was syringe.


60 posted on 12/18/2006 7:17:34 AM PST by Big_Harry ( Thank God I am an "Infidel"!)
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