Did you ask anyone directly what they thought about Coulter's comment? Or are you assuming they will all be offended? I'm curious - not challenging you.
I used to talk to my gay uncle about this kind of thing when I worked for him as a teen during summers in San Francisco.
It came up mostly because my dad is fun-loving biker and a slur-a-minute kind of man, and because he's of the thinking that people are too sensitive about it all: he even has a special nickname for my hubby based on his 2 main ethnicities and that he uses when he's in an especially good loving mood. At risk of being banned by someone who thinks this is terribly offensive: it's McWop.
My gay uncle and his gay friends (oh, and the prostitutes that worked up and down the street outside the business) could have cared less about the slurs. Whether a straight friend or a stranger called them queer or what not, they enjoyed the attention. I do remember they preferred some terms over others: like queen and queer. As for Ann's word - that is what they called each other with a wink and a smile. It was all very eye-opening to say the least.
And of course, this isn't to say that ALL gays have thick skin. Some types (regardless of sexual orientation) are offended by EVERYTHING, I've learned. Like Rosie!
I'm not calling for Ann to be muzzled, but I do think conservatives can make our points without sinking to middle-school slams. My opinion is that serious conservatives would do well to distance themselves from Ann's remark.