Posted on 05/01/2007 8:33:09 AM PDT by firehat
JUST ASKIN’ XXXVIII –
QUERIES IN QUICKSAND ©
by Norman Liebmann
Just askin’: Is the recent vote of whether or not the United States should surrender in Iraq indicative of just how many shades of yellow there are among the Democrats in Congress?
Just askin’: Is Hillary’s threat to appoint Bill Clinton Ambassador to the World the most obscene use of destructive personal influence since Yoko Ono broke up the Beatles? And would it surprise anyone if that famous celebrity-humper, Yoko, were to marry that famous Irish hip hop Third World do-gooder and become Yoko Ono Bono?
Just askin’: Does the existence of Rosie O’Donnell settle the question that Cinderella actually had a third ugly sister?
Just askin’: Do Caucasians consider every black person their equal - except for Al Sharpton, and is his disqualification because of something he’s done or because of everything he’s done?
Just askin’: Now that Hillary has declared her decision to appoint her husband Ambassador to the World do we hope she doesn’t mean this world?
Just askin’: Will Hillary’s grooming of daughter Chelsea to succeed her in the Oval Office be the Clintons’ final fatal overreach?
Just askin’: Isn’t there a grim consistency in the fact that John McCain, a man with nothing to say, always says it anyway, and has no place to go but always manages to find his way there?
Just askin’: Shouldn’t parents teach their children that homosexuals are no better or no worse than everybody else they should avoid?
Just askin’: Won’t the ballot for the Democrat nominee for President read:
[] John Edwards [] Barack Obama [] Bill Richardson [] Al Gore [] Joe Biden [] Anybody but that bitch!
[Note: Isn’t the fact that Chelsea Clinton is getting involved in her mother’s political campaign confirmation of the aphorism that the apple doesn’t fall far from the bitch?]
Just askin’: Isn’t Hollywood considering a remake of The Lone Ranger and will they have his horse gelded and change its name from Silver to Dorian?
Just askin’: Isn’t it apparent by now that the country that has the best chance to endure in this world is the country with the fewest homosexuals?
Just askin’: Why do all the swarthy people of the earth have aversions to living in their own cesspool countries?
Just askin’: Should Harry Reid’s face be a target marker at the bottom of every urinal in America?
Just askin’: Has Hillary decided to recycle her “suthin’” mouth-full-of-hush- puppies accent into a full-throated coon shout? And what makes her think that mocking the vernacular of the blacks will endear her to them?
Just askin’: Why do liberals find it easy to rationalize that some black peoples’ hostility toward America and love of welfare, while the rest of us either can’t or won’t?
Just askin’: Is Political Correctness academe’s determination to give the English language a rhetorical hysterectomy?
Just askin’: Wasn’t the first moment George Bush expressed his naïve acceptance of Vladimir Putin’s good will sufficient to disqualify him from public trust?
Just askin’: Why doesn’t Alec Baldwin go to Arkansas where he will have less difficulty telling children from pigs? After all, isn’t Arkansas the land of opportunity where any “pig” can grow up to be President? And while the subject abides, is it true that the reason P.T. Barnum could never took his circus to Hope, Arkansas, was because his freaks didn't want to be mistaken for the people that lived there?
Just askin’: Is the ongoing argument between parents in the United States these days over whose turn it is to change the baby’s serape? And why is it Americans can’t develop a realistic view of illegal aliens until they have first been victimized by them five or ten times?
Just askin’: With apologies to Martin Scorsese, if “the mob” in Las Vegas decides to do something about that traitorous turd, Senator Harry Reid, how many patriotic Americans will volunteer to go out into the Nevada desert with shovels and help dig the hole?
Just askin’: Ten minutes after Hillary enters the Oval Office will the carpet with the Presidential Seal come down with a yeast infection?
Just askin’: Did Dennis Kucinich always look like that or did he have to submit to a series of shots?
Just askin’: Is it time sex education classes got around to teaching the children that you don’t have to be a cop to copulate? And shouldn’t they also instruct kids that the reason so many homosexuals are used by the Democrats as political dupes is because they can’t duplicate?
Just askin’: Is the real reason Democrats want to reduce the number of sheets in a roll of toilet paper because it has too many moving parts.
Just askin’: Is it because Senate Democrats are characteristically stupid, shallow, cowardly and effeminate the reason why they consider themselves a great bunch of guys?
Just askin’: Why do minorities call themselves “communities” when they are actually political blocs? And shouldn’t their leaders be called bloc heads?
Just askin’: Is the only thing less palatable than the treasonous opinions of Rosie O’Donnell the mildewed hypocrisy of Barbara Walters? Walters is the media’s chosen and sacred house cat constantly curling herself around the shins of the despots of the world. Can’t this Che Guevara in crinoline find something to do more constructive than ricocheting between soigné supper clubs and the anti-American United Nations? And why is Bill O’Reilly so profuse in his admiration for the spindly Barbara Walters for all those things he professes to loathe in Al Franken? (And do the makeup people at ABC love referring to Baba Wawa’s “cwisp owange hair”?)
Just askin’: How do so many people in Hollywood manage to overcome their advantages?
Just askin’: If you’re going to call Islam a religion is it on a par with calling Auschwitz a theme park?
Just askin’: Do many black people overrate themselves? (yawn)
Just askin’: Whatever else can be said of Joe Biden, he never has trouble living down to the American people’s expectations of him?
Just askin’: Does Black and Decker have a power tool that could get Sheryl Crow’s fingernails clean enough to invite her to dinner? And, incidentally, who put Ms. Crow in charge of the bungwad police?
Just askin’: Is it time to find a cure to do something definitive about the malignancy called Clintonism?
Just askin’: Is there anyone who has been forced to take Al Sharpton seriously or is that group still confined to just Don Imus and Tawana Brawley?
Just askin’: Is the dirty little secret in Europe the fact that they have established a DNA match between French champagne and Arab urine? And why don’t the French cut to the chase and just rename their country La Belle Islam?
Just askin’: Shouldn’t the gal who entered into that civil union shack-up with Rosie O’Donnell be described as hooking her wagon to a queer?
Just askin’: Isn’t Ilse Koch the role model for the older sister Hillary Clinton always wished she had?
Just askin’: Is the principal reason for that annual festive occasion by the natives in Tahiti a celebration of the fact that they are not living in Hawaii?
Just askin’: Is George Bush’s failure to do anything about Muqtada al Sadr the reason everything in Iraq is “muqt up”?
Just askin’: Why is it the Bush Administration cannot discern the fine line between sniveling and groveling?
Just askin’: Has Dianne Feinstein’s body been diagnosed with terminal sag?
Just askin’: If she is elected President, will Hillary be the first President with a time-share husband? And which one of Hillary’s brothers will she appoint as her Attorney General - the disgustingly obese one, or the one with the fewest “priors”?
Just askin’: If it is possible, the Democrats will finally find a way to make the deceased pay “their fair share” of the Death Tax?
Just askin’: Was Bill Clinton’s biggest disappointment since leaving office finding out someone else already owned the copyright to the title, "The World is My Blowjob"?
Just askin’: If Hillary is elected will her term in office be known as The Botox Administration?
Just askin’: When did the media decide “fair and balanced” is a substitute for truth?
Just askin’: Now that the Los Angeles Times has taken the position that Barack Obama isn’t black enough will they next demand he carry a watermelon in his wallet for identification?
Just askin’: When Bill Clinton says "Amen", shouldn’t churches allow their congregation a one-time dispensation to shout “Bull s--t!”?
Just askin’: If Abraham Lincoln were alive today would he be at work writing The Emancipation Eradication?
Just askin’: Will The View discourage programming future television all-yenta focus groups? And after Rosie O’Donnell leaves The View, will her perch have to be euthanized?
Just askin’: Will historians change the name of the Iraq fiasco from Desert Storm to Desert Sham?
Just askin’: Do movie stars marry each other because they think they don’t deserve anyone better?
Just askin’: From the journalistic dregs that were shaken out of CBS News to inherit the mantle of Edward R. Murrow, does it suggest that Murrow was more myth than mantle, more junk than journalism, and more s--t than Shinola?
Just askin’: During her recent trip to the Middle East is it true that an entire caravan of camels refused to give Nancy “Grossie” Pelosi “a mercy hump”?
Just askin’: What will you bet that by the time the Clintons get through ripping off the American taxpayers they will they end up with more palaces than Saddam Hussein?
Just askin’: Are the Civil Rights leaders correct in saying that black is beautiful, or are they just making the best of something or other?
and this …
Just askin’: How come the Sopranos know when to quit and the Clintons don’t?
***
Classic firehat! :)
Quality stuff!
Hatred seems to be displacing your humor of late. A little more Red Skelton and a little less Cosmo Kramer might help.
I don’t know, Gordon. The worst BJ I ever had was fantastic. But this... you might be right.
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