Devil Gordon of Newsweak, Your new nickname is Turd-Gobbler!
Posted on 07/06/2007 10:33:12 AM PDT by tobyhill
July 5, 2007 - It might be a long time before we get another Daisuke Matsuzaka. The superstar pitcher from Japan has been as good as advertised in his first season with the Boston Red Sox, but I’m not talking about his talent. I’m talking about his sparkling resume for a truly classic nickname. Nicknames are a grand American tradition—in sports, in pop culture, in politics, in life—and when Matsuzaka arrived here, he gave us a golden opportunity to christen him anew. So far this season, Matsuzaka has struck out 110 hitters in 106 innings. He throws at least six different pitches, including one, the gyroball, that might just be an intimidating myth. He never, ever gets tired. He famously threw 254 pitches—two hundred and fifty-four!!—in a single, 17-inning game during high school, then tossed a no-hitter in his next start. And unlike most pro athletes, he clearly adores playing the game. On the mound and in the dugout, he has an endearing habit of smiling like a goofy 6-year-old with an ice cream cone. The guy is so colorful, so unique, that it’d be a sin if we whiffed on the chance to give him a great nickname.
(Excerpt) Read more at msnbc.msn.com ...
Whadda Turd Blossom.
Just...”wow”. A raging case of BDS.
This could be a failed attempt at satire on the part of the author, but it’s hard to tell. The problem with the written word is that, unlike the spoken word, you cannot see the person’s facial expressions or hear the inflection in their voice to detect the context of what they are saying.
So this guy puts this stuff down in writing and you can’t tell if he’s serious or not. If it is supposed to be satire, he doesn’t do a very good job at it. You can tell good satire by a columnist who really knows how to write.
Besides, this guy must have a lot of time on his hands to be venting about something as frivolous as people’s nicknames. Is he trying to make this the issue du jour now?
Since NEWSWEEK Man is already taken and the author doesn’t seem to care for it anyway, I’ll dub him Devin “Nimrod” Gordon. He actually had a decent idea for an article but derailed it. A lot of nicknames are really bad, but they come from some of the more philistine elements of the culture. And they came from there long before most people knew who George W. Bush was. I’ll bet the average person has no idea that the President likes to nickname people, so how could he have any influence there?
Don't seat the nickname stuff, Devlin...or should we just say "Big Dick"?
Devil Gordon of Newsweak, Your new nickname is Turd-Gobbler!
Devin Gordon, another talentless hack that Newsweek hired in their quest for youth. If I used his "writings" to line my parrot's cage, the ASPCA would be on me like ticks.
With all the trouble that this administration has had in the international community, it’s probably instructive to remember that President Bush’s nickname for the Russian premier, Vladimir Putin, has long been Pooty-Poot. This has always struck me as a profoundly stupid thing to call a man who once ran the KGB.
I’ve never heard the President use that nick-name and I know this clown made it up to try to cause friction in the administration.
Actually it was the Bush Impersonator on either Jay Leno's Tonight Show or Saturday Night Live that dubbed Putin "Pooty-Poot". Perhaps the author is too stupid to know the difference between an impersonator parodying the President and the President himself.
Sportswriting has just really gone south terribly in the last few years. I’m not sure where they keep digging up these little twits but it’s clear that most of them are gelded east-coast nancy-boys that rarely, if ever, put on a helmet, grabbed a bat, or strapped on skates.
Anti-bush article?
Really a stretch don't you think?
The article has almost nothing to do with bush, until it references his habit of making up nicknames for people. The article is really about how we as a society have become too lazy to think through the application of a nick-name on someone, nothing more and nothing less.
It’s called “humor” folks...even when poorly executed, it is still humor.
Of course he did. The article starts out about baseball nicknames, goes on to other athletes' nicknames and then the author takes a hard left and starts slamming the president, out of the blue.
He's about a subtle as a train wreck and anyone who doesn't see his oh, so obvious agenda must be a liberal.
The author also probably thinks he's quite clever, but he's really rather juvenile.
I can’t believe the author stopped at nicknames!
What about the ongoing decline in metaphors and great puns?
Bush! Is there anything he can’t ruin?
sports writers forget their relevancy place in society.
Gordon doesn't seem to know his baseball history on another point either, when he says that he doesn't like the nickname . . .
. . . I-Rod, which is what some folks insist on calling Detroit Tigers catcher Ivan Rodriguez even though he already has a perfectly great nickname—Pudge.
The reason I don't like "Pudge" for Ivan Rodriguez is that it was used more originally for another great catcher, Carlton Fisk. I don't like stealing a "patented" nickname from an earlier athlete. That's why I never liked calling Dwight Gooden "Doc," simply because of some perceived resemblance to Julius Erving.
I got a nickname for this pitcher. How about “The Beast from the Far East”
The Opinion Journal’s Best of the Web Today has a regular section, “Wannabe Pundit” where people who write about things other than politics so want to be political writers, or just bash President Bush that they throw in criticisms of Bush into articles that have nothing to do with politics. Like Restuarant reviews!
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