A values agenda for the next president

The next president of the United States will need to address the crumbling social fabric of this great nation. America is richer than ever, but its families have never been so impoverished.

Presidential contenders, from left; Sen. John McCain (R-Ariz.), Sen. Hillary Rodham Clinton (D-NY), former New York City Mayor Rudy Giuliani and Sen. Barack Obama (D-Ill.).
Photo: Office of John McCain, US Senate, City of NY, AP

The main problems are: first and foremost, the 50-percent divorce rate; second, children who do not interact with their parents; third, a shallow and degenerate culture that especially degrades and exploits women; and fourth, broken men who define their success through financial accumulation, thereby neglecting their families.

The rot has been reinforced by the ineffectiveness of religion in bolstering family values. Truth be told, religion is even obstructing the formulation and propagation of workable family values by centering its values platform on opposition to gay unions and abortion. Neither of these campaigns is going to strengthen families.

HERE ARE four ideas that can begin to stem the rot, consolidate our families, and ennoble our culture.

Studies show that marital counseling, for the most part, really works, and often makes the difference between staying together and getting divorced. But, sadly, many couples simply cannot afford the huge cost of going to a good counselor on a regular basis. Let's give them the financial incentive to do so.

Marriage is society's most important social structure. Without marriage children do not have stability and adults are often relegated to lives of solitude and loneliness.

When couples divorce, the burden of raising children often falls to the government, especially in the case of dead-beat dads. So whatever revenue is lost from the tax deduction would be more than made up from the savings in expenditures for children who should not be the government's responsibility, and from reduced teenage delinquency and crime.

I am writing this article from Dublin, Ireland, where seeing the schoolgirls walking on the streets is a pleasure. The public school uniforms are modest and convey the serious nature of being at an institute of learning. It also conveys to the boys in the school that girls are dressed in a respectable way because they are meant to be respected.

Compare that to our own public school system. Time magazine reported in 2003 that 40 percent of our teenage girls wear thongs to school, often with the underwear band showing above their jeans. This is a disgrace and immediately conveys both that going to school is akin to going to a peep show, as well as the fact that the flirtatious interaction of boys and girls is more important than the learning experience.

Getting our kids to wear uniforms, or at least conform to an appropriate dress code, teaches them learning must be taken seriously. It conveys to girls that they should carry themselves in a dignified manner than invites respect. And it teaches both boys and girls that the body is not designed to be exploited, and that sexuality is something best kept out of a public space.

There is no more important daily family interaction than the family supper. Sitting down to a meal together, the one great unifier of all cultures and religions, allows a family to connect, interact, and debrief about their day. It gives parents the opportunity to not only talk to their children, but to listen to them about how school and their lives are going.

The next president should call on all the American people to sit down for dinner either right before or immediately after the network news broadcasts (which might even provide some interesting conversation topics). A president could appeal to the national TV networks to either go completely dead during that daily half-hour, or at least put on something so boringly unappealing to children and teenagers that the family dinner will be a more stimulating alternative.

The president should be seen sitting down with his family every night at that exact hour, pressing matters notwithstanding. A lottery should then be done of families who abide by the national family dinner-time to meet with the president once a month so the institution becomes more and more ingrained in the national psyche.

This was an idea championed by the Lubavitcher Rebbe. The brokenness of today's men is the direct product of a culture that promotes accumulation as the measure of success. Men are especially prone to the depression that results from feeling like failures. This must be countered from the earliest age by allowing our young boys to reflect on their intrinsic value as human beings and on their being an essential part of God's overall plan.

America wisely separates Church and state, and no one is asking that prayer be imposed on America's public schools. But a moment of reflection on something important and spiritual will directly counter the pounding materialism that reduces us men to nothing but what we earn, and reduces women to nothing but what they look like.

GOD SHOULD never be coerced into the American school system. But neither should incessant materialism. An innocuous moment of reflection, and a teacher telling children that this is their moment to think about anything that is larger than them, can nourish the soul and perhaps jumpstart some serious reflection on the part of children to lead a deeper and more wholesome life. Our schools need values, and a moment of reflection will ingrain into a child the idea that a higher power is within their reach.

The candidate who seizes this values agenda will triumph in the next election and seriously strengthen our nation. In the 2004 vote, while the pundits focused on the war with Iraq, 22 percent voted for their values. It made the difference between George Bush's victory and John Kerry's defeat.

In this cycle, not a single candidate has made a significant effort to offer healing values to the American people and American families. Let the healing begin.

Ha! If this nation is stupid enough to put Hillary in the Oval Office, the fabric of America WILL BE DESIGNED TO CRUMBLE. The Constituion will be taken apart. Freedoms eroded. The value system of America will be GONE, replaced by a socialist/Stalinist one-party control scenario that will destroy and vestige of American values. Any system of values measurement...Christianity and sound judgement of right versus wrong — will be history, as it is with the radical liberal left. One has only to listen to the “leaders” of the Congress, the news media and the opportunistic socialist fools who are the DNC. They know exactly what they are doing, and DESTROYING VALUES is a big part of their agenda.

So this country had better choose wisely. Certainly not Hitlery. And it had better get the left out of control of the Congress as well. Then we have a good chance at restoring true American values that have made this country what it is — the greatest on the face of the planet.

• Make marital counseling tax-deductible.

Promoting the value of the family is a good idea. This is best done by example and by using public appearances of the President, his family, other political leaders and cultural role models to promote family values. A Federal Marriage Amendment could be an opportunity to bring about a national discussion of the importance of marriage.

Further complications of the tax code and government subsidy's (which always means money taken away from somebody else)? - That's a bad idea.

• Impose a dress code, or even uniforms, at public schools.

This is a good idea but should be up to the parents to pressure their local school boards to enact such policy's. As long as there are good enforced dress codes, uniforms are not necessary. The President and others can encourage parents to be involved and promote modesty. Again, it's not a place for direct Federal involvement.

• Create a national family dinner-time.

We practice this in our house as often as possible. We talk about our "High's & Low's" of the day. (Sometime's I'll even present a topic from a FR posting for discussion.) The TV is not a distraction for us - it's scheduling around choir, band, cheerleading, scouts, church youth activities, etc.

Once again, an opportunity for the President and others can encourage behavior but not a place for direct Federal involvement. Broadcasters are not going to "go dark" during prime time. (Does anyone watch the "National News" anymore?)

• Create a daily moment of silence in America's public schools.

We have this in our school district. I've been in the classrooms as a parent volunteer in Elementary, Junior High, & High School during the morning anouncements & moment of silence. The moment is silent. There are a few (<10%) kids who take the opportunity to bow their heads in prayer. Most just organize their stuff or look around the room.

Teaching children to pray will not - and should not - happen at school. No "moment of silence" will have any significant impact on the prayer or spiritual practices of children. And the "moment" is too short for a serious prayer anyway. If parents want their children to learn to pray, they should do it at home before they go to school. If children see their parents praying at home, they will learn to value and rely on prayer in their lives.

Again, there is nothing wrong with role models, including the President, promoting good values. It's just not the place for government intrusion.

The decline of family values and religious practices is an important issue in our nation. The author is right to recognize some important changes that people could make in their personal lives that would improve their families, communities, and our nation. The author is wrong, however, in the desire to use the force or incentives of government to change or restrict personal behavior. Let government leaders use their "bully pulpit" to promote values and leave it at that.

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