global warming...Green alligators
And long necked geese
A humpty back camel
And chimpanzees
Cats and rats and elephants
But sure as you’re born...
THe Unicorn
A long time ago, when the Earth was green
There was more kinds of animals than you’ve ever seen
They’d run around free while the Earth was being born
And the loveliest of all was the unicorn
There was green alligators and long-necked geese
Some humpty backed camels and some chimpanzees
Some cats and rats and elephants, but sure as you’re born
The loveliest of all was the unicorn
The Lord seen some sinning and it gave Him pain
And He says, “Stand back, I’m going to make it rain”
He says, “Hey Noah, I’ll tell you what to do
Build me a floating zoo,
and take some of those...
Green alligators and long-necked geese
Some humpty backed camels and some chimpanzees
Some cats and rats and elephants, but sure as you’re born
Don’t you forget My unicorns
Old Noah was there to answer the call
He finished up making the ark just as the rain started to fall
He marched the animals two by two
And he called out as they came through
Hey Lord,
I’ve got green alligators and long-necked geese
Some humpty backed camels and some chimpanzees
Some cats and rats and elephants, but Lord, I’m so forlorn
I just can’t find no unicorns”
And Noah looked out through the driving rain
Them unicorns were hiding, playing silly games
Kicking and splashing while the rain was falling
Oh, them silly unicorns
There was green alligators and long-necked geese
Some humpty backed camels and some chimpanzees
Noah cried, “Close the door because the rain is falling
And we just can’t wait for no unicorns”
The ark started moving, it drifted with the tide
The unicorns looked up from the rocks and they cried
And the waters came down and sort of floated them away
That’s why you never see unicorns to this very day
You’ll see green alligators and long-necked geese
Some humpty backed camels and some chimpanzees
Some cats and rats and elephants, but sure as you’re born
You’re never gonna see no unicorns
Irish Rovers
Never play leapfrog with a unicorn.
this is Obama’s mascot. Just in time!
What’s next? Bigfoot?
global warming...>> Other mammals are believed to contribute to the myth of the unicorn, including the narwhal, a whale with a long, spiraling tusk. <<
If anyone has ever read an ancient beastiary, it’s very plain that the animal referred to as a unicorn is a rhinoceras. In some cases, in fact, the terms are used interchangeably. “Unicorns” had very broad feet, were built low and large, “almost as an elephant,” and their one horn was on their nose.
If you object that unicorns were supposed to be horses, please keep in mind that a hippopatamus is, to the Latins, a “river horse.”
Were there virgins in the area? (Now that’s rarity).
Here’s a complete waste of time from Youtube that has 24 million views.
Charlie the Unicorn
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Q5im0Ssyyus
I warned you...
From Pliny the elder:
“The unicorn (monocerotem) is the fiercest animal, and it is said that it is impossible to capture one alive. It has the body of a horse, the head of a stag, the feet of an elephant, the tail of a boar, and a single black horn three feet long in the middle of its forehead. Its cry is a deep bellow.”
From Isidore of Seville:
“The Greek word rhinoceros, meaning “with horn in nose,” refers to the same beast as the names monoceros or unicorn [Isidore does not distinguish between them]. This is a four-footed beast that has a single horn on its forehead; it is very strong and pierces anything it attacks. It fights with elephants and kills them by wounding them in the belly. The unicorn is too strong to be caught by hunters, except by a trick: if a virgin girl is placed in front of a unicorn and she bares her breast to it, all of its fierceness will cease and it will lay its head on her bosom, and thus quieted is easily caught.”
In America, we call the cull deer, and we shoot them to improve the breeding stock of future generations.
They don’t make good trophy mounts, because they’re freaks.
The patient was from Transylvania.
He caused me to re-evaluate my assumption that vampires are merely mythological.
He also made me consider that maybe Count Dracula had gotten a bum rap.
So the Bible was right about unicorns...