My favorites...
George Carlin.... “IN THE NEWS”
A football team died today in sudden death overtime.
Scientists have discovered a disease that has no known symptoms. It is impossible to detect and there’s no known cure. Fortunately no cases have been reported thus far.
A man was arrested today for trying to use food stamps to mail a watermelon.
The FDA announce today that saliva causes stomach cancer. However, only when swallowed in small amounts over a long period of time.
And finally, a psychiatrist has discovered a cure for apathy. However, no one is paying any attention to it.
Disease quip: We were watching a commercial yesterday. “There are no known symtoms but contact your doctor to find out more”. And yes...Lo and behold...There is a pill for this.