Free Republic
Browse · Search
News/Activism
Topics · Post Article

To: KarlInOhio
Of course, children under 18 years of age, who suffer from the Epidemic of Obesity©, will be forbidden from the purchase of frozen desserts. In addition, a 60-day waiting period will be established and enforced by regulations to be promulgated by the Federal Food and Drug Administration, under which all Americans having attained the age of Frozen Dessert Consent (including nationalized foreign citizens otherwise excluded from the foregoing Obesity Guidelines due to their special status as Calorically-Challenged under the Junk Food Control and Nutritional Health Improvement Act of 2011) will be required to submit to blood testing and physical examination at the nearest Federal Health facility, where a determination will be made as to the levels of serum glucose and cholesterol as well as conformity with Federal height-and-weight standardization regulations otherwise promulgated under the American Bodily Image Enhancement Act of 2010, the successful completion of which will result in the issuance by the Surgeon General of the United States a License to Consume Frozen Dessert Products, which will confer upon the recipient the right to purchase quantities of the aforementioned dessert treats in conformity with Federal regulations limiting the purchase of such comestibles by day, week and month; subject to the authority of the Office of Treat Enforcement to withdraw such license in advance of its regular expiration date, should the bearer be found to have violated its terms and conditions, or in the event that a regular physical exam, as required under the Omnibus Health Reconciliation and Consolidation Act of 2009, be shown to result in year-to-year increase in weight of an amount in excess of the greater of (a) 1.5% of total body mass in existence as of the date of the last such regularly scheduled exam, or, in the case of an unchanged prior exam, 2.0% of total body mass; or (b) the sum of the variance of preferred height-to-weight ratio from prior measurement; in which case, the aforementioned License shall be revoked for a period not less than one year, after which the licensee may reapply for a License to Consume Frozen Dessert Products by written application to the Office of Treat Enforcement by Form OTE 665.76(b)(Rev. 10/11), submission to re-examination by a Qualified Local Health Board, and a payment of not less than $75.00 as a processing fee. Penalties for violation of any of the forgoing rules and regulations may be established as desired by Congress under the authorizing statutes and may result in punishment up to and including the lifetime revocation of all dessert privileges in the case of multiple offenses, including the unauthorized use of foreign travel to obtain dessert services otherwise unavailable under law in the United States.
66 posted on 10/06/2009 7:37:27 AM PDT by andy58-in-nh (America does not need to be organized: it needs to be liberated.)
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 52 | View Replies ]


To: andy58-in-nh
You win the Big Block o' TextTM award!
67 posted on 10/06/2009 7:39:38 AM PDT by TChris (There is no freedom without the possibility of failure.)
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 66 | View Replies ]

Free Republic
Browse · Search
News/Activism
Topics · Post Article


FreeRepublic, LLC, PO BOX 9771, FRESNO, CA 93794
FreeRepublic.com is powered by software copyright 2000-2008 John Robinson