Anti-polygamy case gives rise to all kinds of family forms

Vancouver Sun ^ | June 9, 2010 | Daphne Branham

[Colofornian]

Forrest Glen Maridas is a polyamorist who believes that it is her constitutionally guaranteed right to freely express her sexuality in any form that that might take.

Maridas is 34, American and a full-time counsellor at a university, although she's currently on maternity

leave. She's lived with Canadian Russell Osborne since May 2005 and he's sponsoring her for immigration as a common-law spouse under the family classification.

Maridas and Osborne and their two young children live in a home in Edmonton with Drew Thompson and Katy Furness.

For the past two years, Maridas has been in "an intimate and conjugal relationship" with Thompson, a caregiver, self-defence instructor and "spiritual counsellor."

"Russell and Katy's relationship with one another -- as well as myself with Katy and Drew to Russell's relationship to one another -- are roommates and friends," says Maridas.

Maridas generally sleeps with Russell, but when "sleep schedules" permit, she and Drew sleep together, often with the baby. "On more rare occasions, Drew, Katy and myself sleep together or Drew, Russell and myself sleep together at night."

Drew and Russell do not have a sexual relationship, which is described as a triad or a "polyamorous V." But all of the adults are free to date outside the family. "Being bisexual assisted in having a psychological framework for the ability of multiple relationships to make sense," says Maridas.

She also says that within their family, "there is not a ranking system that some polyamorists follow of primary, secondary, etc. relationships."

Maridas explained all of this in an affidavit filed Tuesday in B.C. Supreme Court. It was one of six filed by the Canadian Polyamory Advocacy Association, which is intervening in the case to determine whether the anti-polygamy law is valid.

While others -- such as Surreybased Wiccan priest Sam Wagar, who also filed an affidavit Tuesday -- contend that they have a religious right to practise polygamy, the polyamorists say that for them it's a matter of freedom of expression.

And what they have to say in their affidavits about how they live offers a glimpse of just how far some Canadian families diverge from the tradition of Mom-Dad-kids or the more recent "traditional" families of two Moms or two Dads and kids.

And this peek behind normally closed bedroom doors is a hint of what's to come in November, when Chief Justice Robert Bauman begins hearing the case.

These are the first affidavits to be filed. None has yet been filed to support the opposite view, that the law is a legitimate infringement of rights because of the harm polygamy causes.

Since these affidavits represent only the views of those who believe the anti-polygamy law should be struck down, it's no surprise that they provide a rosy snapshot of domestic life as told by a single member of a family.

Victoria resident Zoe Duff is 50, university-educated and shares "a very large bed in one bedroom" with her common-law husband, Jayson Hawksworth, whom she has lived with since 2001, and Danny Weeds, who has lived with them since March 2009.

Two of Duff's six children, aged 15 and 16, live with them and each has his own room.

The trio continue to date others. Those dates with outside partners are posted in the kitchen and online "for the adults to note."

Although Duff can't imagine not being in a polygamous relationship, she says, "I don't think it is the kind of situation that many other people would have the natural inclination for nor the fortitude to work on."

Karen Ann Detillieux is a 38-yearold research associate living in Lorette, Man., with her husband, Gilles Detillieux, their two school-aged children, Blair Mahaffy, and Mahaffy's two teenage children. Their home has "two functional master bedrooms" and two other bedrooms that are shared by the children. At this point, their triad is exclusive with no outside dating. But Karen says jealousy is not a problem and "is nothing more or less than one of a whole spectrum of human emotions to be understood and worked through like any other."

The only man who filed an affidavit is John Bashinski of Montreal. His family triad includes Kimberly Joyce and Warren Baird.

Together they are raising two-yearold Kaia, who was born two days before the three agreed to make their arrangement permanent.

Each has a separate bedroom and they live on a "relatively formal biweekly schedule" that includes large blocks of family time, undisturbed personal time for each adult, time with Kaia for each adult alone and "date nights" outside the home for Joyce with one of the men.

In their sworn statements, all of the polyamorists said they've told close friends and family know of their arrangement, but they've not shared it widely out of concern that they might be ostracized or lose their jobs.

Bashinski, a 47-year-old American who works for a technology company, was the most open about his fears concerning the anti-polygamy law and its impact if the chief justice rules that it is constitutional and the law is subsequently enforced. Bashinski worries that Kaia might be taken away by child-protection authorities. He fears prosecution, conviction and punishment.

He also fears the prospect of being denied permanent residency in Canada. And in saying that, Bashinski raises the question fundamental to this court case: What kind of country do Canadians want?

Read more: http://www.vancouversun.com/Anti+polygamy+case+gives+rise+kinds+family+forms/3130406/story.html#ixzz0qNqkn8Oy

[Colofornian]

From the article: ...all of the adults are free to date outside the family. "Being bisexual assisted in having a psychological framework for the ability of multiple relationships to make sense," says Maridas...

And here we thought Victorian norms were just...just soo prudish...whereas, here's someone who sounds like they'd sleep with...well, just "anybody" and adopt them into the "marital" free-for-all global partnership!

...others -- such as Surreybased Wiccan priest Sam Wagar, who also filed an affidavit Tuesday -- contend that they have a religious right to practise polygamy, the polyamorists say that for them it's a matter of freedom of expression.

Well, that's what usually happens. It's occultists & cultists like this, and the Oneida community & the Lds in the 19th century and beyond, who try to redefine the family as a "freedom of expression" or freedom of religious expression right.

Better start amending all those "marriage" forms now:
Massachusetts, under Romney, amended theirs to: Partner A and Partner B.
Now, we could have: Partner A
Partner B
Partner C
Partner D
Partner E
Partner F
All the way down to partners X, Y, Z...and I suppose Partner XXX could be the in-house "whore"...as if you might able to distinguish her from the rest of the clan.

[a fool in paradise]

Maridas generally sleeps with Russell, but when "sleep schedules" permit, she and Drew sleep together, often with the baby. "On more rare occasions, Drew, Katy and myself sleep together or Drew, Russell and myself sleep together at night."

Drew and Russell do not have a sexual relationship, which is described as a triad or a "polyamorous V." But all of the adults are free to date outside the family. "Being bisexual assisted in having a psychological framework for the ability of multiple relationships to make sense," says Maridas.

The excesses of the 70s are still with us.

Bill Ayers interview, published in the NY Times on 9-11-2001

“He [Bill Ayers] also writes about the Weathermen’s sexual experimentation as they tried to ‘smash monogamy.’ The Weathermen were ‘an army of lovers,’ he says, and describes having had different sexual partners, including his best male friend.

[married21]

What scares me is that people with no boundaries like this will be sexually abusing the kids. Like what happened to McKenzie Phillips.

[ridesthemiles]

Hippie commune crap.

These children don’t stand a chance.

[GeronL]

They would the government to accept and celebrate their lifestyle, if they just kept it to themselves who would care?

[GeronL]

wait a sec...

are they having sex with the kids too??

[Rio]

Send ‘em all to Canada!

[donna]

I’ve Got Those Folsom Prison Wedding Bell Blues
(hilarious on absurdity of Canadian liberalism!)
THE RANT.US, MAY 30, 2005, JOHN MARTIN, PhD
Excerpt

Muslim leaders have also publicly spoken that once same sex marriage is fully legalized they will demand polygamy also be recognized on religious grounds.

Put the two together and things ought to be interesting. Same-sex polygamy fully legal north of the border. Even in the slammer.

Supposing Bruno; the biggest, toughest, meanest SOB on the tier decides he’s going to marry each and every convict in his cellblock. He could control the drugs, contraband, gambling and all the other prison rackets with immunity. Why? Because no one in Canada can be forced to give evidence against their spouse.
http://www.freerepublic.com/focus/f-bloggers/1413989/posts

[a fool in paradise]

“It takes a village”

[a fool in paradise]

If it’s like the 70s, the parent encourage the kids to give it up to mama’s boyfriend. In an era of free love, it is a sin to say “no” to someone.

[GeronL]

give it up to mama’s 8 boyfriends in this case.

[the_devils_advocate_666]

The snowball has started rolling. I want to marry myself!

[Jack Hydrazine]

We have the worst unemployment since 1969. I think its gonna be another summer of free love! LOL!

[Colofornian]

Muslim leaders have also publicly spoken that once same sex marriage is fully legalized they will demand polygamy also be recognized on religious grounds.

Yup. If you do a "genealogy" on polygamy in North America, you see it was...
...Historically the Mormons introducing it (1830s-->1910)
...they slowed it way down in 1890 & then stopped its expansion...
...by the 1930s, though they hung on to existing polygamists, they tell the others who keep expanding it to get lost.
In the pre and post WWII years, they become their spiritual children and grandchildren (the fLDS and the rest of break-off groups in Montana, Utah, Mexico, and Canada)...
...and then one case breaks off and makes it to the Canadian Supreme Court.

We know who the spiritual descendants and ancestors were of polygamy...and so the Muslims want to climb aboard this "Religious Legal" train.

[MEGoody]

Bunch of sickos. They should all be spayed/neutered so they cannot reproduce (at least, not any more).

[Lurker]

Cases like this are the precise reason the State should have nothing to say on the subject of marriage. None whatsoever. Period.

[Colofornian]

Cases like this are the precise reason the State should have nothing to say on the subject of marriage. None whatsoever. Period.

Well, your comment makes sense only if you can show me some long history of speaking out vs. the govt. stepping in to pay welfare & all the other governmental forms of $ support for the "alternative family forms."

IOW, the govt. has a vested interest in protecting marriage & protecting the family, because when alternative forms are entered into, guess who pays (besides the kids)? That's right. The govt. is footing the bag for all of the sex-outside of marriage resulting in babies; including cohabitors, who tend not to get married or have long-term relationships.

So as long Uncle Sam is the Sugar Daddy, govt has a right to speak into this with some standards involved.

But, if you've been consistent.
And if you've have railed long & hard vs. ANY type of welfare, school lunch programs, and the thousands of other govt. programs tapped to pay for men wanting to licentiously engage in sex outside of marriage -- many of whom don't pick up the 18-year bills for doing so -- then at least you'd be consistent.

Are you consistent on this topic? (Or are you wanting to address only one small part of it, while ignoring the context?)

[Dead Corpse]

Yeah... That's the ticket! Give the Nanny State FedGov even MORE power. That's never backfired on us has it? (/sarc)

How about we just ignore these whackjobs and let 'em live in their silly little communes? Cut off the Welfare checks and see how many of them self destruct as reality comes crashing home.

[Dead Corpse]

Agreed.

[Lurker]

Well, your comment makes sense only if you can show me some long history of speaking out vs. the govt. stepping in to pay welfare & all the other governmental forms of $ support for the "alternative family forms."

You've been around here almost as long as I have so if you've missed my posts on those subjects you haven't been paying attention. I'm against any kind of government payments to anyone for anything other than goods and services rendered. Period.

Are you consistent on this topic?

Why yes I am, and pretty damned proud of it. It's none of the Governments business how consenting adults chose to order their living arrangements.