Posted on 07/21/2010 9:39:17 AM PDT by Daveinyork
As a kid, I learned from my mother, a true southern lady, how to properly inflate those for the best effect.
See, kids tend to want to blow them up to full capacity, but blowing it up just over halfway produces a much better sound when sat upon.
I learned a lot of cool stuff from my parents when I was growing up.
>> Yet the only way to make females better in math is to take numbers out of math tests.
MULTIPLE CHOICE: CHOOSE THE BEST ANSWER
“Ashley finds two Gucci handbags on sale for 17% off if you buy one bag, or 41% off the cheapest one if you buy more than one. The first handbag is $123.79, and the second is $541.03. Ashley should:
A) Use her daddy’s MasterCard to buy both bags
B) Use her daddy’s AMEX card to buy both bags
C) Use her daddy’s VISA card to buy both bags
D) Slip both handbags in her beach bag and sneak out of the store”
I remember years ago, when I was in between pharma jobs. I drove the print shop truck for the local Big Box U. making deliveries. One week, we were delivering the incoming student packets to all of the various graduate programs. It was frightening - there were more graduate students coming into the School of Social Work than there were ALL of the sciences - hard and soft - combined. And this school is not even particular known for its social work program.
...
Butts, farts. Whatever, said Amelia Yunker, a children’s librarian in Farmington Hills, Mich. She hosted a grossology party with slime and an armpit noise demonstration. “Just get ‘em reading. Worry about what they’re reading later.”
(Yes, don’t let them GROW UP! NO! Keep them immature and DUMB.)
...
Farts are Ray Sabini’s halfway point for younger kids. The fourth grade-teacher from Miller Place, outside New York City, heard from dozens of grateful parents, teachers and librarians after he self-published his “SweetFarts” in 2008 under the name Raymond Bean.
The book chronicles a 9-year-old boy’s multimillion-dollar science fair invention of tablets that can change foul-smelling gas into the culprit’s scent of choice: summer rose, cotton candy, grape — even pickles, as requested by his little sister. It climbed to No. 3 on Amazon in children’s humor in October on little more than word of mouth and prompted a sequel, “Sweet Farts: Rippin’ it Old-School,” to be released next month.
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Grossology shouldn’t be underestimated in boyland. Scholastic’s poop fiction star, Dav Pilkey, and his “Captain Underpants” graphic series remains immensely popular among both genders.
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Hmmm, in my day The Hardy Boys were populat with boys and Nancy Drew was popular with girls in those grades. Dumbing them down and feeding their heads with liberal food will only turn them into immature liberal junkies.
"The Day my Butt Went Psycho, by Andy Griffiths. 240 pages. Ages 9-12. Yes, someone wrote a book about run away butts gone psycho. And yes, boys love this book. To read this book is to become immersed in a storyline of butts gone crazy, with all the associated butt biological activities. Zack, whose butt has run away, discovers an evil plot of the crazy butts to unite, and erupt a special volcano on mankind. Only this is a buttcano, and it is not filled with lava. The butt storytelling and individual butt personalities are hilarious. All types of butt biological activities are cleverly and amusingly described throughout the story. The book is filled with funny characters such as the Stenchgantor, a.k.a. the Great Unwiped Butt, and hilarious encounters with the Stink tornado and the swimming poopoises. Your son will be laughing constantly at the butt descriptions throughout the book, and how Zack and a few butt fighters try to stop the evil butt plot. This is an easy and funny read, with clever twists and turns throughout. We can promise you the book won’t win any literary awards, but that your son will love it. Be forewarned, after your son reads this book, he may never be the same! In stock. $ 5.99. Add to CCNow Cart "
ROFLMAO! Er... maybe I'll just wait for the moovee...
"Equal parts droll and gorgeous nostalgia book and heartfelt plea for a renewed sense of adventure in the lives of boys and men, Conn and Hal Iggulden's The Dangerous Book for Boys became a mammoth bestseller in the United Kingdom in 2006. Adapted, in moderation, for American customs in this edition (cricket is gone, rugby remains; conkers are out, Navajo Code Talkers in), The Dangerous Book is a guide book for dads as well as their sons, as a reminder of lore and technique that have not yet been completely lost to the digital age. Recall the adventures of Scott of the Antarctic and the Battle of the Somme, relearn how to palm a coin, tan a skin, and, most charmingly, wrap a package in brown paper and string. The book's ambitions are both modest and winningly optimistic: you get the sense that by learning how to place a splint or write in invisible ink, a boy might be prepared for anything, even girls (which warrant a small but wise chapter of their own)."
Can't do that.
Never let a crisis go to waste.
Entertain them with the taboo and baser values in life and then have a course on character building!
Liberals are very preoccupied with sex and kindergarten bathroom humor. It's sick.
Yes, but the alternative is worse.
"Ordinary folks can construct 13 awesome ballistic devices in their garage or basement workshops using inexpensive household or hardware store materials and this step-by-step guide. Clear instructions, diagrams, and photographs show how to build projects ranging from the simple-a match-powered rocket-to the more complex-a scale-model, table-top catapult-to the offbeat-a tennis ball cannon. With a strong emphasis on safety, the book also gives tips on troubleshooting, explains the physics behind the projects, and profiles scientists and extraordinary experimenters such as Alfred Nobel, Robert Goddard, and Isaac Newton. This book will be indispensable for the legions of backyard toy-rocket launchers and fireworks fanatics who wish every day was the fourth of July."
I did a study on kids who didn’t like to read for a class I took several years ago. I discovered that most of these kids simply didn’t like to read fiction. Most of them enjoyed non-fiction. While getting kids to read the classics is important, non-fiction should be a part of the curriculum as well.
SEC media day has started. Be afraid, very afraid.
Even during ‘latency’?
LOL, Ratboy.
I think Harry Potter has been good for kids. Very enjoyable books, written in a manner similar to many of the old children’s classics. Rowling grew up a fan of most of the authors we all love (C.S. Lewis, etc).
She may be an idiot, but her books are great.
The Harry Potter I read was poorly written. It would never be in my secondary school classroom.
Now thanne, put in thyn hand doun by my bak,
Seyde this man, and grope wel bihynde.
Bynethe my buttok there shaltow fynde
A thyng that I have hyd in pryvetee.
A! thoghte this frere, that shal go with me!
And doun his hand he launcheth to the clifte,
In hope for to fynde there a yifte.
And whan this sike man felte this frere
Aboute his tuwel grope there and heere,
Amydde his hand he leet the frere a fart,
Ther nys no capul, drawynge in a cart,
That myghte have lete a fart of swich a soun.
This may surprise you, but I not only learned to appreciate English literature by sneaking into the attic of my best friend's house and reading her father's copies of Chaucer and Shakespeare, but I labored to understand Middle English so I could read the fart jokes in the Canterbury Tales -- at age 11.
tom sawyer, huck finn, oliver twist, grimm’s faerie tales, arabian nights, chronicles of narnia, lord of the flies.. but they’re not allowed- because they’re called racist and sexist, and they’ve all had movies made from them.
That’s a very good book. I have a copy.
My favorite author of books for young people, boys in particular, is Stephen Meader, whose career lasted from 1920 until 1969. Meader's young protagonists, be they sailors, railroaders, combat pilots, pioneers, or entrepreneurs are morally straight, patriotic, and motivated. In the books I have read, they also have strong, supportive families. The stories are filled with action as his heroes match wits with the British navy, Nazi saboteurs, North Korean fighter pilots, and so on.
However, the coarsening of American culture that accelerated during the 1960's began to affect literature for young people. Instead of going with the trend and writing about drugs, sex, gangs, racial strife, dysfunctional families, and leftist protesters, Meader decided to retire. His books went out of print, and many became collector's items. However, many public libraries still carry them, and all have been reprinted by Southern Skies, an independent publishing company.
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