Um, why not teach the kiddies things such as, oh, mathematics, science, history, geography, and reading?
That's stuff those old-fashioned tea party types would teach. Nowadays being "hip" is the only way to go.
“Um, why not teach the kiddies things such as, oh, mathematics, science, history, geography, and reading?”
That would take someone who cares about the children instead of a political agenda.