And...
-"I hate this helmet. It messes up my hair."
Back in the early days when we would go on U-Level 3 - meaning we had to wear our body armor anytime we stepped outside, we used to make jokes like that. "But it makes me look fat." "But it wrinkles my shirts."
Prolonged periods of U-Level 3 used to annoy everyone, though.
So sometimes we took the plates out of our vests...
My favorite from a SF Member who looked like she slathered her regular make up on with a paint brush and roller -
"I can't use Cammo paint; it makes my face break out!"
I recall flying out of Iskan. I took out my plates, and when I boarded the helicopter, I sat one on the seat, and the other was low on the backrest. The crewchief asked me what I thought I was doing. I told him that ground fire will come from below, so I was protecting myself and those parts that are important to me.
Needless to say, he didn't buy it..........
Out at AA, the client was aghast when I told them that I didn't wear body armor when I was outside the wire. They never quite understood that many of the locals equated body armor and weapons with someone who was going to subjugate them and they wouldn't talk openly.