Early in my husband’s career, I tried to finish college.
We’d move. I’d spend three months getting our house settled and trying to find good, affordable daycare for our children.
Then I’d sign up for classes, only to find that my new college didn’t accept some of the credits from the last school and that I’d have to retake classes. Either that or they’d have different requirements and now I fell short.
Three colleges. 75 credits passed. 60 applied toward a degree. No associates.
I’ve lost three WONDERFUL jobs - one that offered upward mobility within the corporation. My boss begged me not to move and offered me a massive promotion if I’d stay. Double the pay. An additional position as a trainer within the company. (more money) The company would pay for my training and that would transfer to other companies and opportunities - I’d even qualify for a good federal job in just two years. My boss promised me that if I gave him just three more years, he’d personally help me get a great job in the industry anywhere I wanted to go.
Had I gone that route, I’d be making more than my husband does in the army now and getting better benefits.
Nope. The army had already moved my husband and I had to keep my family united.
My husband insists on hanging up my awards and certificates because he’s proud of me. I don’t like them. They just remind me of what I *could’ve* done if I’d had the opportunity.
I’m proud of my husband’s accomplishments. Every time he’s promoted, he give a speech and he tells the planet that he wouldn’t be where he was if he didn’t have my support.
But in the end, they’re *his* accomplishments. Not mine.
***
In the end, my body broke down and I know now that I couldn’t have followed through with all of my dreams anyway. But there are tens of thousands of woman in my position. Women who sacrifice their personal career goals to support their husband and the US army.
To cheat them out of what was promised is criminal and diminishes their sacrifice.
The army recruits soldiers. The reenlist wives and families. Gut the spouses’ benefits and retention will go to hell. We won’t have a choice.
Thank you for your many sacrifices. It’s nice to hear a military spouse talk honestly about what you have given up. My hubby is currently deployed. The other day he was telling me about the awards he is going to get before he comes home. I was having a particularly bad day on the home front with our (6) kids. I had to sit down and be honest with myself that, dangit—I was mad because I’m doing a heck of a lot over here. I’m giving up a lot. Where are my awards? Well.. it was a bad day and I got over it. I’m so proud of him and his accomplishments.
Twenty years active with the Navy. Six different collages or universities, 200 plus semester hours, no sheepskin.
finally gave up when informed by the university of Tennessee, Knoxville that none of those hours are any good, they are all over five years old.
Been told many times was way over qualified for jobs not needing a degree and short one peace of paper for the rest.