Come and Get Your Jewish Life Here, Cheap!

"Postcards from America - Postcards from Israel" ^ | October 24, 2011 | Norma Zager

[Ari Bussel]

Come and Get Your Jewish Life Here, Cheap! By Norma Zager

"I do not believe in loving enemies; I have pretty hard work to love my friends. Neither do I believe in revenge. No man can afford to keep the viper of revenge in his heart. But I believe in justice, in self-defense." Robert Ingersoll

Just days after the Gilad Shalit homecoming, Israel and Egypt struck a deal to swap 25 Egyptian prisoners in Israeli custody for one U.S. Israeli dual national Ilan Grapel, held by Egypt.

Okay and now we’re at a 25 to one ratio. The numbers are dwindling.

And now you have it folks, Israel is opening a swap meet for Jewish prisoners.

This may be a bit one sided however, since there aren’t too many Jewish prisoners piling up to be swapped.

So what does this mean? It means that there are copious amounts of crazies out there to swap and not so many Jews, so the world will probably run out of Jews first.

Oops, this may not be so good.

Jewish life may actually be worth something to the anti Semites and murderers who seek to destroy them.

However, that doesn’t mean that Jewish life will be revered, it means it will become a commodity to exchange for garbage.

Hmmm. And how do we feel about this new wrinkle in the kosher ointment?

Well let’s see?

How about a listing on Groupon?

Deal of the Day: Two Jewish prisoners for 500 terrorists instead of 1000. Three hundred deals bought so far!

In ancient Rome, a Roman citizen could walk upon the earth free from worry and certain in the knowledge that if any harm came to him, the entire wrath of the Roman Empire would come down like a mighty force on his oppressors.

Pretty heady stuff there and would scare anyone I know.

But a citizen of Israel, that’s a kosher chicken of another color.

I was all in favor of exchanging Gilad Shalit for the thousand pieces of garbage masquerading as humans in Israeli jails. However, I am also in favor of swift justice and empty Israeli jails.

Are these terrorists any less evil than Adolph Eichmann? The State of Israel felt comfortable frying his touchas, why not the murderers and terrorists who kill Jewish children today? Are they exempt from Israeli justice? Are their crimes less offensive to humanity?

Obviously! And just as obviously, that is not okay with me.

Or with millions of other people who would not shed a tear if these terrorists were tried and found guilty of murder. Then treated to a bit of Eichmannesque justice by their Israeli hosts.

And please spare me any talk about capital punishment when we are discussing creatures that strap bombs to their children’s diapers. Or slit a baby’s throat and then dance in the streets, celebrate and party like it’s 1969.

A whole new set of rules applies here. How low can humanity go? That low!

So now we have a new set of standards for Jewish life. Let’s see Egypt is getting 25 lowlifes for one Jew.

Gaza is giving one Jew for 1000. What’s the offer Ladies and Gentlemen? Step right up and make a deal here.

But is a male Jew worth more than a female? Especially to an Islamic extremist, since we all know how much they value women. Let alone any life form.

And what about age? Do old Jews command less than young Jews? Come on, we need to have some rules here. Fair is fair.

Would you want to get stuck giving back 25 old Egyptians for one young Jew?

What’s the trade here, the equivalent?

Here’s a preliminary chart to get started.

One old male Jew equals 500 young terrorists. One old male Jewish dog equals 1000 male terrorists of any age. One female dog is worth 1500 young terrorist males. Extra, if she is spayed. One young male Jew is worth 5000 terrorists, young or old. One turkey is worth 5000 terrorists of any age or sex. After all at least a turkey is worth something as a food source.

So now we have a problem. We will soon run out of Jews, because of course there are far more crazy terrorists.

This isn’t looking good. Is this a precedent we really want to encourage?

I say stop keeping and feeding them to use as barter. If the terrorists receive the punishment they deserve, all bets will be off.

I think that is much better policy than opening a swap meet for Jews. We may actually have to add costume jewelry or Oxy Clean to the table to make up for the inequity.

Tell the Israelis to wake up and smell the hummus before the world runs out of Jewish people to swap.

Don’t create a commodity that could put our people and children in harm’s way. It is a road through the Middle East we do not ever wish to travel!

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The series “Postcards from America—Postcards from Israel” by Ari Bussel and Norma Zager is a compilation of articles capturing the essence of life in America and Israel during the first two decades of the 21st Century.

The writers invite readers to view and experience an Israel and her politics through their eyes, Israel visitors rarely discover and Israelis often ignore.

This point—and often—counter-point presentation is sprinkled with humor and sadness and attempts to tackle serious and relevant issues of the day. The series began in 2008, appears both in print in the USA and on numerous websites and is followed regularly by readership from around the world.

Zager and Bussel can be heard on live radio in conversation on the program “Conversations Eye to Eye between Norma and Ari.”

© “Postcards from America — Postcards from Israel,” October, 2011 Contact: bussel@me.com

First Published October 24, 2011

[Talisker]

This time around, the deal was one Israeli for one terrorist

plus

1026 more terrorists.

Evil any way you count it.