In other news, Mayor Bloomberg, proposes making belching and farting violarions with $100 fine for each incidence and is in discussions with New York Governor, Andrew Cuomo, about taking the program statewide then possibly nationally. Special audio listening devices are being developed in the fashion of “Demolition Man” and will be installed to count the number of burps and farts using taxpayer funds. Plans are underway to install the first wave of devices in nursing homes by Spring 2013. When asked as to how the idea came about Bloomberg replied, “I was sitting on the toilet one day and it just occurred to me how we could meet our budget shortfalls and how offending farts and burps are it hit me! Fine by the fart! And throw in burping too!”. When asked what he thought seniors would think of his project given their tendency to do both which are natural functions he replied, “Screw ‘em! Farting and burping are an assault to all of the other people around ‘em and they can buy antacids and eat fiber tabs to stop if if they really wanted to. Besides this new program will donate 10 cents of every dollar into green programs and provide shovel ready jobs to the poor to remove homeless people in New York”.
I used to live just over the freeway from Milton Keynes in a little town called Stony Stratford - what a beautiful place it was to be a kid back then.
Mel
High-capacity gum dispensers next.
Are they going to institute a caning policy as well?
Liberalism is about reducing the number of choices available to people.
He is the one who started the craze for chewing gum in the US.