[golux]

At the risk of seeming politically incorrect, this swartza is gay and retarded!

[Kenny Bunk]

Let me get this straight. You are accusing the President of the United States of America of being an homosexual, an intrepid navigator of the Windward Passage, light in the loafers, a little on the sweet side, a three-leggèd beaver, musical, a pansy, a poofta, a nancy-boy, a sodomite/catamite, gay, or what? Based on what? Spending 24/7 entwined with Reggie Love? Riding in limos with Mr. Larry Sinclair? Throwing like a girl? Making the Chicago bath house scene with Rahm Emannuel? All easily explained, OK?

This sort of talk could give foreigners the wrong idea about America. Can't we just go back to proclaiming queerness as "the love that dares not speak its name" for a while, rather than shouting the POTUS' gayness from the bloody housetops?

Besides, G, this sort of gender-normative talk causes Michelle to just want to go shopping somewhere far away and it's costing us a fortune to ship and guard her and the dog. Don't you know there's a sequester on?

Now look. Keep it quiet until June 2016, or there's a good chance you will not be invited to the Barry/Reggie nuptials to be held on the steps of the Lincoln Memorial, the Reverend Wright officiating, and John Boehner as flowerboy. Now you wouldn't want to miss that, would you?