[Our man in washington]

“Well, as a liberal, I’d like to say that it was horrific that Corey Feldman was abused by the Catholic Church. That shows what a disgusting organization that is. They should be investigated, mocked, and brought down.”

“What’s that? You say he was abused in Hollywood? Oh, I’m sure it was just one or two bad apples. Oh, you say his friend was abused too? And other former child actors say it’s common? Um...well...uh...can we talk about something else now?”

[Sir Francis Dashwood]

"Both were young Jewish actors..."

“Well, as a liberal, I’d like to say that it was horrific that Corey Feldman was abused by the Catholic Church."

???