I volunteer to be Grand Marshal of the next Straight Pride Parade.
I can see it all now:
The Grand Marshall, followed by a squadron of buxom cheerleaders, some Boy Scouts, several good marching bands, tractors and monster trucks, veterans marching, floats with families doing normal things, like eating dinner together and playing board games, the Patriot Guard Riders, floats sponsored by church groups...
It's all good.