Jones shares a specific incident in which a man named Mike, whom he met at a gay bar in Virginia Beach, leaves a voice mail asking him to go on a date. Jones shares the mixed emotions that came with the message.
“I had met a number of people at gay bars in the area who still had been dishonorably discharged for it,” he writes. “Being a Navy SEAL and gay proposed its own set of problems. Fortunately for me, it was not obvious to people that I was gay. If I wanted to go out on a date with Mike (which I did), I was going to have to do some serious lying.”
He recounts how he would have to deceive both his SEAL team and Mike in order to protect himself from expulsion under the military policy, which prohibited gay, lesbian, and bisexual service members from being open about their sexual orientation until its repeal in 2011. “I’m not proud of the lies, but living under the rule of DADT left me few options in such a small close-knit community,” he writes.
How long before the lies became more important than his mission?