Kenya: Judge upholds use of anal probes to define sexuality

Associated Press ^ | 06/16/2016 | AP

[Rusty0604]

MOMBASA, Kenya (AP) -- A Kenyan court on Thursday upheld the use of anal examinations to determine a suspect's sexual orientation, dismissing the argument that the procedure amounts to torture and degrading treatment.

There was no violation of rights or the law, Mombasa High Court Judge Mathew Emukule said.

"I find no violation of human dignity, right to privacy and right to freedom of the petitioners," he said.

The court judgment means that someone can be arrested on a rumor that they are gay and subjected to these tests, he said. "Do we want to use the nation's scarce resources on this?"

[Rusty0604]

Don’t eat the nuts!

[Hillarys Gate Cult]

Could have been inspired by this;

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6tZar4wRP40

[Lazamataz]

No, what they do is shove a dildo up your bum, and if you smile, squirm, and moan, you are gay.

[mkjessup]

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=P7-hpQcrME0

[TigersEye]

Apparently 0dildo is still advising Kenyan politicians.

[Lazamataz]

Except for the exception under 542 Kenya § 421.1, wherein the shoving of a dildo up a mans ass for OFFICIAL BUSINESS is exempted.

[Rusty0604]

You know a lot about this subject, lol

[lee martell]

This is NOT satire? Wow. And the Judge sees nothing wrong with it at all. Thank goodness they didn’t describe the ‘tests’ in great detail. This reminds me of “Dunking” during the Middle Ages, where a woman suspected of witchcraft was tied to a wench, and repeatedly dipped into a pond. If she sank, she was considered innocent, albeit, post mortem.

[Lazamataz]

I’m aware of that exception, but in Ugubudu vs. Barana, 1986, it was proven beyond a reasonable doubt that gays believe shoving dildos up each others bungholes is, in fact, “OFFICIAL BUSINESS.” In fact, the case proved decisively that this was the vernacular used in the gay Kenyan community for shoving a dildo up another man’s pooper. Example: “I was with Ted last night, and I gave him the OFFICIAL BUSINESS.”

Perhaps, but your Honor, let us consider Abaloo vs. Marikki, 1997 (Kenya) in which the gay term "OFFICIAL BUSINESS" was found to be different and distinct from the state term, "OFFICIAL BUSINESS", whereinwhich the court ruled that the implication of the word "STATE" should be inserted into the latter, to make it read "OFFICIAL STATE BUSINESS".

The prosecution rests.

[smokingfrog]

[Lazamataz]

I can’t help that I minored in Kenyan law and Social Justice in college. You just pick things up.

You may have minored in college, but I am actually admitted to practice Kenyan law in the Coast Province, Nairobi Province, Nyanza Province, and the Rift Valley Province.

[Rusty0604]

I’m just curious as to why you chose that minor.

[Rusty0604]

Here I was about to annoint you the official free republic Kenyan anal probe expert.

[Rusty0604]

Another free republic Kenyan anal probe expert!

[Lazamataz]

Well, since under Kenyan law, misrepresent your Curricula Vitae is a capital offense. May I have to please a contact number and address? I will send the extradition papers for immediate perusal of your eyes. But fortune, I may be able to exemptify you, for it is discovered that your cousin was a Kenyan citizen and lottery winner. For his lottery go unclaimed, and you next of kin, due to you 10,021,488 Americanized dollars. Please to provide bank draft for 1,102 Americanized dollars and I will make your moneys available.