[Ciaphas Cain]

And you thought the jokes about Pee-wee were bad...

[Geronimo]

Chicken-choking-mokey-spanker...OJ Simpson is a wanker...

[HypatiaTaught]

Vomit.

[rlmorel]

Coach Buzzcut: So, BEAVIS AND BUTT-HEAD! I understand Mr. McVicker has made a little arrangement for you guys! Yeah, a little probation. You see, class, BEAVIS AND BUTT-HEAD HERE are not allowed to laugh for a whole week. That's right, AND IF THEY DO LAUGH, they'll be expelled, and they'll have to go to Hope High School, WHERE THEY'LL GET THEIR ASSES KICKED ON A DAILY BASIS BY ALL THE OTHER DELINQUENTS, HA HA HA!!

[The entire class laughs at their horrible situation, but Beavis and Butt-Head know they better not laugh at that comment.]

Coach Buzzcut: Well, I was REAL GLAD to hear that, because this is Sex Education Week. That's right, SEX ED WEEK! [He hears Beavis and Butt-Head trying to giggle, so he gets closer to them to start yelling in their faces.] We're going to be talking about THE PENIS!!! [He gets right into Butt-Head's face, as he tries to hold back from laughing.]

Coach Buzzcut: We'll be talking about THE VAGINA!!! DO YOU THINK THAT'S FUNNY, BUTT-HEAD?! DO YOU FIND IT AMUSING THAT WE'LL BE TALKING ABOUT THE TESTICLES?! [Butt-Head covers his mouth, to stop himself from giggling too hard.] Yes, we're ALSO going to be talking about VENEREAL DISEASE! SEXUAL INTERCOURSE! THE SCROTUM! THE CLITORIS! AND... [He then pulls Butt-Head's hand away from his mouth. Butt-Head starts crying from holding it back so hard.] AND WE WILL DEFINITELY BE SPENDING A LOT OF TIME TALKING ABOUT MASTURBATION!!!

[The entire class explodes into laughter as Coach Buzzcut returns to his desk, while Beavis and Butt-Head look like their about to explode.]

Coach Buzzcut: Well, now that that's out of the way, let's take roll. BUTKISS!!!

Butkiss: Here! [He laughs, knowing they can't laugh at him anymore.]

Coach Buzzcut: GAYLORD!!! HIMEN!!!

[drpix]

Wonder if the glove defense will be recycled.

[dfwgator]

Was he wearing a glove at the time?

[1Old Pro]

First he whacked Nicole and Ron, now this.

[dfwgator]

"Strange things happen to the head here. Put all hope out of your mind... ...and masturbate as little as possible. lt drains the strength."

[bgill]

No. Inmates intentionally “get caught” when they know female officers are on duty.

[Alberta's Child]

If I were a betting man I'd say he gets paroled.

No state wants to pay the cost of keeping some 70+ year-old mutant alive.

[Strac6]

So playing with Mr. Happy will not make OJ happy.

[TangoLimaSierra]

He heard that his pee pee had info on the real killers so he was just trying to beat the truth out of it.

[Cementjungle]

http://www.nydailynews.com/news/crime/whitey-bulger-caught-masturbating-florida-jail-cell-article-1.2544190

[Ronald_Magnus]

Wants to show the parole board he’s a standup guy.

[SamAdams76]

Some people just weren’t meant to have nice things. This OJ, what a screwup, why he could screw up a wet dream.

[blueunicorn6]

I went to my buddy Carry’s house.

He told me he had 14 brothers.

I was kind of astonished and asked him,

“How did your parents pick names for 15 boys?”

He said,

“At first it was easy, but then they started having trouble. So Dad said he’d just watch the child and see him do something and that would give him the inspiration for a name. For example, Mom used to come home from the grocery store and I would help her carry bags into the house. Dad saw that and named me Carry.”

I saw a young man sitting across the room.

“What’s his name?” I asked.

“Well, Carry said, “It was Halloween and we had a barrel with water and apples in it and he dunked his head in and came up with an apple so Dad named him Bob.”

I saw another young man.

“What’s his name?”

“Oh that’s Jack”, said Carry.

“Let me guess”, I said. “Your Dad saw him playing Jacks on the sidewalk?”

“Nope””, said Carry. “Dad caught him in the basement with a dirty magazine. His middle name is Off.”

[ronniesgal]

for all the things OJ should be kept in jail 4, this is not 1 of them.

[xrmusn]

Well he has part of the protected status down pat.

All he has to do is declare himself a female for the time he was pleasuring himself.

OR

Declare his hands female

[Go Gordon]

Go OJ, Go! Or should it be c...

[JimRed]

'He was caught by a female corrections officer making her normal rounds in late June.'

The response he was hoping for was not forthcoming...she reported him instead.

[ScottinVA]