We didn’t need the photo, Zakeet. I just threw up.
I’m a girl and by me that’s only great
I am proud that my silhouette is curvy
that I walk with a sweet and girlish gait
With my hips kind of swivelly and swervey
I adore being dressed in something frilly
When my date comes to get me at my place
Out I go with my Joe or John or Billy
Like a filly who is ready for the race
When I have a brand new hairdo
With my eyelashes all in curls
I float as the clouds on air do
I enjoy being a girl
When men say I’m cute and funny
And my teeth aren’t teeth but pearls
I just lap it up like honey
I enjoy being a girl
I flip when a fellow sends me flowers
I drool over dresses made of lace
I talk on the telephone for hours
with a pound and a half of cream upon my face
I’m strictly a female female
And my future I hope will be
In the home of a brave and free male
who’ll enjoy being a guy, having a girl like me
When men say I’m sweet as candy
As around in a dance we whirl
It goes to my head like brandy
I enjoy being a girl
With someone with eyes that smolder
Says he loves every silken curl
That falls on my ivory shoulder
I enjoy being a girl
When I hear a complementary whistle
That greets my bikini by the sea
I turn and I glower and I gristle
But I’m happy to know the whistles meant for me
I’m strictly a female female
And my future I hope will be
In the home of a brave and free male
who’ll enjoy being a guy, having a girl like me
(with deepest and sincerest apologies to Miss Peggy Lee and Messrs.’ Rodgers and Hammerstein)