Posted on 11/16/2017 4:26:21 AM PST by Kaslin
With all the awful things happening now – the discord, the anger, the stupidity – at least those of my generation can rest easy knowing that the Millennials are going to suffer after we’re gone. Sure, I’m going to die a lot sooner than them – unless someone invents some sort of expensive life extension potion that I can buy but they can’t because they will still be paying off their degrees in Oppression Studies and Virtue Signaling Arts until the year 2083. But at least I’ll know that we left them a suitably terrible world, since they are a terrible generation.
Millennials are the spawn we deserve – annoying, posturing, and frequently pierced. They are utterly convinced of their own moral superiority, and yet they don’t even believe in morals. Well, that’s not quite true – they just confuse morals with the increasingly bizarre patchwork of taboos and fetishes of the social justice weirdos they use as their moral compasses. When you ask people, “What’s the world’s biggest problem,” and they answer, “The structural paradigm imposed by cisgender Western males,” and you reply, “How about, I dunno, ISIS?” and they answer “Well, who are we to judge their culture?” it’s slappin’ time.
We warned them to stay off our figurative lawns, and now it’s time to figuratively tackle them like Kentucky libertarians.
I was born during the last week of the Baby Boom, making me…older than the Millennials. So I straddle that useless generation and the useless one that followed. It used to be called Generation X, but no one calls it that anymore because it made no lasting impression. Obama was in my generation. We’ll never live that down. In any case, I remember when calculators were newfangled, phones were attached to walls, and Showtime was the bomb.
OK, so we dug this country $20 trillion into debt, we have a world full of enemies and a military that’s collapsing, and we saddled Millennials with Obamacare, a magical system that makes healthcare worse, but at least it costs more. Yet they seem cool with it. Oh, and politically, the country is divided as never before, at least not since Lincoln, who you Millennials think owned slaves because … sheesh, you nitwits think Lincoln owned slaves.
There was a time when liberals and conservatives didn’t segregate themselves into different bubbles and hate at each other. Recently, Time magazine ran an article about some liberal chick who dumped a guy during a date because he voted for Trump. That never would have happened years ago. Instead, they would have finished their encounter, and he would have given her a fake number so he never had to deal with her pinko nagging again.
But we seem to be losing everything that made us great. Back in the day, we crushed uppity Russian empires, no thanks to commie-hugging liberals who told us that the Reds loved their children too. You Millennials know that awful Sting song – your mom used to listen to it in the Volvo while carting you to soccer or whatever other sick, soul-killing enrichment activities she forced you into instead of letting you run free in the streets and woods like we did. But now we cower at the same losers Reagan stripped of their Ural Mountain oysters in fear of them posting some super-persuasive Facebook ads targeted at making autoworkers in Michigan fall out of their deep and abiding love for Hillary.
Yeah, we messed up, but you Millennials reading this on your smartphones, which you can see without glasses or squinting, shouldn’t act so high and mighty. You had a chance to fix all of this and instead you’ve chosen to never move out of your parents’ houses and to just sit around and invent new pronouns for genders that don’t exist. A couple decades down the road, when I’m dead from chronic bitterness and drinking too much expensive cabernet that I buy with the Social Security money you’ll be toiling to pay me, you won’t have families or careers. You’ll be my age and still making coffee for the next generation of ingrates, the children of the immigrants and super-religious Christians who represent the only portion of America still making babies. You’ll come home to your used Mitsubishi love robot named Olive, reheat some Sara Lee avocado toast sticks, and watch Saturday Night Live as it tries to make fun of President Donald Trump, Jr.
But while we’re still here together, with me owning stuff and you struggling to afford your daily kombucha smoothie, we face many shared challenges. There’s that giant debt, and there are those foreign people who want to kill us, and there is the terrifying fact that we are at each others’ throats here at home. We know how this plays out if we don’t fix it – bad for me, but super-bad for you. Maybe we should try and square things away. Maybe we should stop assuming the worst about each other, start thinking about what unites us instead of what divides us, and work together to make a better tomorrow. Maybe.
But I guess that’s kind of up to you though, because as so many of you on Twitter like to point out, I’m going to die a lot sooner than you are. And that kind of makes the future your problem.
Someday they'll have a wake-up moment.
That was a great line indeed. Running free in the streets and woods teaches invaluable lessons in life. For generations, that’s what kids did. Its wonderful to experience things on your own. It helps to develop self reliance.
“You’ll come home to your used Mitsubishi love robot named Olive, reheat some Sara Lee avocado toast sticks....”
ROLFMAO!
Aging Boomer cisgender Vietnam vet here. Somebody posted that the Greatest Generation was in charge when things went crazy in the late 1960’s. So true, and I never thought things could ever go that crazy again. But Millennial vegan Bernbot snowflakes have proven me wrong, so wrong.
Scusi, but I have to go watch the Lorde video “Royals” aka the Millennial national anthem.
Unfair to accuse an entire generation
************
I appreciate your point, and perhaps the author should have added that caveat, but its safe to say that a large majority of Millenials do fit many of the stereotypical characteristics of that generation.
The Millenials in our neighborhood who are living in mommy’s basement certainly do. They are postponing adulthood and personal responsibility as long as they can.
But you’re absolutely right that the Baby Boom generation has left the country in a mess and engaged in outrageous generational theft.
Your kids are conservative like my kids, so they are not included as a “Millennial” and represent HOPE for the future.
I expect there will be a cultural renewal movement sometime in the 2040s that will bring back conservative values in a new Victorian age, unless we're totally vaporized before then.
Like “Don’t eat this” and “Don’t pet that”. :D
I would come home from school, grab the horse and the Wonder Dobe and vanish into the mountains until dark.
Everything was an adventure, even the smallest things.
Summer was even better, up at sunrise and out the door, gone until after dark.
Good times.
Bkmrk.
Double post?
Millennials are the spawn we deserve – annoying, posturing, and frequently pierced. They are utterly convinced of their own moral superiority, and yet they don’t even believe in morals. Well, that’s not quite true – they just confuse morals with the increasingly bizarre patchwork of taboos and fetishes of the social justice weirdos they use as their moral compasses
This article is highly offensive and devoid of any ‘moral’ anything. I do not relish in the idea of revenge on the next generation. If they rise up against us and bring us to be dead sooner, who are we to blame them. WE, yes WE, created and failed them in millions of ways. WE, yes WE, allowed that debt to pile up, we allowed the destruction of the nuclear family, we allowed the removal of God from the public culture, we turned our backs on church, etc.
He can bemoan all the failings of the next generation, but the truth is as we watch old and frail politicians running for offices on every level...we are the ones who failed the next generation.
We are the one that still cowers a the words of ‘social justice’ progressive demigods. We have elected a President to save a nation, to ‘fix’ what we have sown...but until each of us is willing to stand against this storm with President Trump and stop cowering in front of the computer keyboards...we can’t fix all that we have done wrong. Indeed, we can’t fix all the past mistakes, but we can shine a light on the path.
I do not seek revenge on them, for most of them their anger with us is justified albeit misplaced at times.
“No electricity invented by Thomas Edison”
Edison?
Really?
Edison was heavily invested in Direct Current. He did everything possible to kill Alternating Current, to the point of electrocuting an elephant in public using AC power.
Nikola Tesla perfected and patented Alternating Current as well as the AC motor.
Tesla also gave up the rights to AC so the masses could make use of electricity.
Edison was a piker.
Other than that, good list.
Add Marie Curie, that Nobel guy, Alexander Graham Bell and you forgot AlGore the dude who invented the internet.
“Nor would Ben and Jerry’s! Two schmoes from my home town who contribute to the fattening of everyone . .”
In every life there is some ignominy.
As a Virginian I can attest to that.
We have Jamestown, the first permanent English colony.
We have Yorktown, where those colonists later won their freedom.
And we have Appomattox, where the great General Lee surrendered to that northern officer and southern indepence died.
“Schlichter is right there with Victor Davis Hanson and Mark Steyn.”
Add Greenfield and the quartet, always better than a trio, is complete.
Um. . .the millenials are our children. If they’re not up to the job, then it is we who let them down. We do not need revenge, we need to finish up the job and teach them the way they should go.
I thought that was the best line, too! There are several others. Here's one.
We warned them to stay off our figurative lawns, and now it’s time to figuratively tackle them like Kentucky libertarians.
I actually saw avocado toast sticks on a menu the other night as an appetizer. Brother is a member of The Petroleum Club here and we went for he and his wife’s anniversary. I laughed and so did he when I pointed it out.
Agreed.
I love most of what Schlichter writes. He was on target with this,
BUT,
I am concerned at the tone of this article. Most of what Schlicter writes is snarky but positive. This one seems a little despairing. Like his usual optimism in the face of stupidity has been overtaken by a sad pessimism.
Please, Col. Schlicter, don’t give up the fight. There will always be battles. There will always be liberals and stupid people. But we will prevail. Or at least we will keep fighting to keep them at bay so we can leave a world worth living in to the next generation of conservatives who will take up the fight when we are gone.
I think I’ll re-read that with my afternoon Chevas poolside.
I looked up Petroleum Club. Quite a few cities have a chapter.
Just the political incorrectness of that name is intriguing.
It’s a nice place. My brother is a member and I have several other friends who are also members so get to go there pretty regularly for lunch or dinner.
http://www.thepetroleumclub.com/
I do not group in millennials generally, because every generation has its share of losers.
I was commenting on the hilarity of that comment when aimed at the losers in the Millennial grouping, of which there are many.
If they are currently the loser SJW’s on campus or intellectually in bed with them because they have been programmed, as a parent of them, you have already failed and are unlikely to be able to “finish the job”.
Any reclamation of them is going to happen as they get mugged by life and turn into conservatives...if they are lucky, IMO. And there will be some who will make it.
Unfortunately, there are going to be a good number who simply won’t. They will be lifelong loser moonbats.
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