you are an as9. Yeah, I am far from perfect but I did everything I was supposed to: went to church, volunteered, procreated, raised my children to be children of the Book, taught Sunday school, but still I saw a god that didn’t give a sh8t. Am I discouraged? You betcha.
We commune with God in spirit. We know Him in our heart. Earthly life is a physical separation from God. So you went to church and did all the right things, that has no real bearing on this life except for how it makes you feel better. We will have our treasures in heaven.
You need to watch Michael Palin’s “Time Bandits”...especially at the end when the young protagonist finally gets to ask the “supreme being” the very questions you are asking...and with the brusqueness of a busy bureaucrat who never the less didn’t want to hurt the poor lad... replies “oh it’s something to do with free will?”. Michael Palin was from the Monty Python group who directed a bunch of different movies...but he never out and out attacks religion, just treats some of the practices of religion and the hypocrisy irreverently.
I remember the end of the movie feeling rather buoyed up, like an inner question that had been bothering me had been resolved. That and years later, Ravi Zacharias also answers the same question by pointing out that God, being a God of love seeks those who would choose to worship him in spirit and in truth. We become friends and partners with this great love with which to share with this world; God places no value in robots made to be subservient to his will. He seeks to make us sons and daughters of God...not the “bots” of God. Even Moses said and Christ even quotes him...”ye are gods”. Christ has said this world is passing away, even heaven as well, so shall the evils that infest this world pass away. What will remain is his Word and those in whom His Word dwells. So buck up, and take strength in His word again...the world needs the love God can show..thru you!
,,,,, so angry ,,, I lost my mom when I was 15 she died of heart disease . I was raised Catholic and confirmed etc. but when my mother died I blamed God ,, why would God allow this to happen to me and my family . As I got older and began to see things more in perspective I realized it wasn’t God who took her ,, it was a disease . If you’re waiting for God to help you win the Mega Million , cure your disease , offer you free stuff or stop tornados , earthquakes , or terrorist ,, that’s not what God does .If you are considered a good person by your family and friends perhaps God lives within you while you refuse to accept him ,,,,, or you’re an angry empty vessel as your comment may suggest .
God bless you and have a pleasant day .