My mother was half Irish and half English. She always fought with herself.
—————— Me circa 1978
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Qqs4EbU02As
...One day my ma’s relations came round to visit me
Just as my father’s kinfolk were all sittin’ down to tea
We tried to smooth things over, but they all began to fight
And me being strictly neutral, I bashed everyone in sight!
Oh it is the biggest mix-up that you have ever seen...