“We always tell our young snowflake relatives in California how hideously hot and humid North Texas is, and how backward and unenlightened the people are. Hee hee.”
Well, at least you’re telling them the truth! Hee, hee! Used to go to Graham, TX (The Gateway to the Possum Kingdom Lake) on business. Your description fits Graham to a tee. Beautiful women feeding their overweight husbands $hit food so they could have a chance at a younger man when the old buzzard kicks off due to a heart attack or a stroke, obvious racism at it’s best, along with the weather you describe. And don’t leave out the bit about golf ball-sized hail stones that can destroy your car in a matter of a couple of minutes. I can’t imagine things getting so bad here in CA that I would opt to move to Texas, so at least you’re safe from this Conservative Californian.
Spread the word to all your liberal friends that Tennessee is no better.