So while people focus on the sex aspect of this, it’s part of a larger problem of social isolation of too many people.
Here is their definition. It’s a bit long !
“Intro to Inceldom
This is a small guide for newcomers who aren’t sure what the whole incel thing is all about.
If you have any suggestions or further questions feel free to PM a mod.
NOTE: There are many incels with different ideologies. We tried to be as generic as possible, but at the end of the day everyone will have their own answer.
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What does Incel mean?
Incel means Involuntary Celibate, a person who, if you take the term literally, can’t have sex despite wanting to. In practice this goes beyond simply having sex and enters the realm of having no possibility of finding a partner, either to get validation, love, or acceptance from. Sex is mostly secundary, though just like in every group a minority of incels disagrees.
What is the -cel suffix?
With one L, it’s used to denote different types of incels. You can see terminology for the most common types in the rules.
Copied from there, the most common types are:
Incel: Person who is not in a relationship nor has had sex in a significant amount of time, despite numerous attempts.
Truecel: Type of incel who hasn’t ever had sex or been in a relationship, despite numerous attempts.
Mentalcel: Type of incel whose reason for failure in relationships/sex is related to mental illness or major insecurities.
Volcel: Person who, for various reasons, is abstinent and does not engage in sex.
Fakecel: Person who claims to be incel but has recently had sex or been in a relationship.
Is being an incel just being a virgin? Is sex all you want?
Being incel is more of a status as you are generally unable to escape it, unlike virginity which normal people do during their teens or early adulthood. Sex is part of what incels want, yes, but not as much as they want validation, love, care, and friendship.
Can you be Incel if you have had sex in the past?
The community is highly divided in this respect. Here we assume the answer to be yes to avoid subjectivity, but we expect zero bragging or mention of their experiences from these users. To put an example as to why we allow them, a boy who is forced to have sex at a very young age despite not wanting to, and who grows to be 40 and never have a sexual or romantic experience again despite wanting to, most would agree should be considered incel.
Have you tried to approach girls? Why don’t you just go to an escort otherwise?
Inceldom requires having tried repeatedly to approach females, otherwise a person is considered a mentalcel, someone with insecurities or mental health issues. While some do go to escorts, sex isn’t the main point of inceldom, as stated above.
Is there are minimum required age before you can claim you are incel?
Most say yes, as you are otherwise still young and with opportunities to find love or have sex. Virtually no one would say that a 12 year old can be incel. However, there is no consensus on the exact age at which one can claim inceldom: 16, 18, 21, the exact age varies.
Would therapy help?
While therapy is a valid source of help for many people, it is not a catch-all solution for every problem, especially one that is most of the time radicalized in the appearance of the person. A great personality and a positive attitude won’t give you any chances to get a relationship if your self-esteem is crushed and you are naturally unattractive. Most of all, it is an overused platitude that assumes incels are ignorant of its existence.
Can females be incel? Can gay people?
It’s vastly easier for a female to get validation and sex than a male in today’s society. Unless a female belongs to the bottom percentile in terms of appearance, it’s going to be very hard for them not to be able to find many suitors for any kind of romantic/sexual activity.
While not discussed as often, it is believed homosexual men have it easier than heterosexual men. For a good example of why, try changing your preferences on Tinder to men if you are one yourself and see how many matches you get.
I’ve heard about Incels encouraging violence or hatred of women, is that true?
Inceldom has no relation with violence, misogyny, or illegal activities of any kind.
Every once in a while when a tragedy happens, the term incel is thrown around and we get an influx of guests. We do not advocate any illegal activity, nor we allow it on the site.
Is being incel caused by your personality?
It is a common mistake to assume that incels intrinsically have terrible personalities, most have a normal life (study, work, have friends and hobbies) and are just another member of the community. If you believe Incels here have a bad personality, you should remember this is a place to vent and discuss the problems we face without being censored.
What do you think would improve your situation?
The sad truth is that for many there is no permanent solution. Some consider surgery a way out, some that having sex for the first time would help. Most of all, having a serious partner who provided love would be ideal.
Do you have anything to do with TRP and/or MGTOW?
No, but although our ideals point in different directions we certainly do find intersections at times. They might be the closest to incels in terms of ideology.
Who’s Chad?
Chad is what incels are not: Charismatic, tall, good-looking, confident, muscular. He can be perceived as good or bad. It’s a meme mostly.
What is the Blackpill/Redpill/Bluepill?
Based on the movie “The Matrix”, where Morpheus offers Neo one of two pills: A red and blue one.
The Redpill is an ideology based on trying to win the game that is seduction and interactions in general, implying there are a set of rules and methods that one can use to maximize their odds, almost methodically with enough practice.
The Blackpill is the ideology that the game is rigged from the start, that being attractive is far more important than personality or techniques. It can be extended to the idea that there is little to no benefit in playing at all if you were dealt a bad hand in terms of appearance.
The Bluepill is what the red and black aren’t; the ideology that “what’s inside” is what counts, and that being yourself is the best way to conduct yourself in life.”
Add to this the increasingly extended adolescence.
I remember lamenting as a teen all those girls who "have sex with everyone but me!" while being totally oblivious to the other girls who liked me and would've had sex with me had I asked. It was an awkward time, being a teenager.
But this is a teenage problem!
With a 50/50 sex breakdown, if you have reached full-grown manhood and have not yet figured out which women "are in your price range" for the purpose of copulation, something's wrong. By that age, I'd learned which women I have no chance with, but more importantly, which women I did.