Posted on 09/30/2018 7:11:24 AM PDT by TigerClaws
GRAND RAPIDS, Mich. (WOOD) — Adults in Michigan are marrying children as young as 14 and it's perfectly legal.
Few people know because the state hides the marriage documents, sealing them from the public.
Ann (a pseudonym), married in West Michigan at the age of 14.
"We went to the courthouse. It took five minutes," she said. "I think we kissed or something, and that was it."
Now nearly 40 and living in Florida, Ann told Target 8 the decision that was made for her decades ago still affects her life.
She asked that her real name not be used to protect her family. Target 8 is also not using her husband's name.
Her story is one of many. Michigan has recorded dozens or even hundreds of child marriages in a year.
"It sets a person up to be taken advantage of," Ann said. MARRIED 'BECAUSE THEY WANTED ME TO, I GUESS'
Ann was living in the small Montcalm County town of Vestaburg in 1995 when she met the man she would marry. She was 13. He was 17.
"I was smitten as soon as I saw him," she remembered.
She said the relationship started out innocently. But when her boyfriend turned 18 a year later, Ann's father, who was unhappy about the relationship, threatened him with jail.
"My dad looked it up and figured out it would be statutory rape because I was so young," Ann said.
Ann said her boyfriend became suicidal.
When asked why she got married at 14, she didn't have a clear answer:
"I don't know. Because they wanted me to, I guess," she said. "I loved him. I didn't want him to die. My mom wanted me to get married."
She added that she didn't want to get married, but felt pressured. She said her boyfriend stayed up all night convincing her to marry him the next day.
Dressed in jeans and a T-shirt, she went to the courthouse and said, "I do." There was no ring, no flowers and no questions asked. The only requirement was one parent's signature.
"They actually gave us the paper to take it home to sign, like it was a permission slip," Ann explained. "You know, to go on a field trip. That's it." JUDGE CAN OK MARRIAGE REGARDLESS OF AGE
Under Michigan law, you need to be 18 to get married without restrictions. At age 16 and 17, you need parental consent. Those younger than 16 need a parent's and a judge's approval. With a judge's approval, there is no age limit.
"That I could get married under the age that I could consent to sex, that blows my mind," Ann said.
Child marriages like Ann's happen every year in Michigan. In 2000, there were 537. In 2014, the most recent year for which data is available, there were 116.
It was while trying to pull the records for Ann's marriage that Target 8 found out how the secret is so well kept. The records are sealed. The state hides the identities of the bride and groom. Even with Ann and her husband's name, Target 8 couldn't get a copy of their marriage license. Only the husband and wife can unseal the record, and they have to do it in person.
The majority of Michigan's underage marriages, 84 percent, involve girls marrying adult men. It took a Freedom of Information Act request to discover some teen girls are marrying men three times their age. One record listed a 15-year-old bride and a 48-year-old groom.
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DEPENDENT ON AN ABUSIVE HUSBAND
Ann's marriage was bad from the beginning.
At 14, she was pulled out of school and stuck at home to fill what she called "wifely duties."
"I didn't know how to cook and he wanted me to be a certain way that I couldn't be," Ann said, breaking down into tears.
She said she was punished for being a "bad" housewife.
"He was very particular. His socks had to be folded a certain way. His everything had to be just so," she said. "If he was mad and I bumped into him, he might punch me or something."
She said he even threatened to kill her.
Miles away from family and friends, Ann said she would sometimes run to a neighbor's home to hide for the night until her husband calmed down in the morning.
She was too young to drive or have a job.
"You need the money, you need the help, you need everything and you really appreciate everything you get," she said. STATE OFFICIAL: TIME TO STOP CHILD MARRIAGES
Milton Mack once presided over the secret marriages as a probate court judge. Now the state court administrator, he wants to abolish them.
"This was designed for a situation where a child had gotten pregnant and they wanted to legitimize the child," he said of the current law.
But he said it can be used as a legal loophole.
"Judges have seen cases where they come in and the marriage is basically to absolve the older male of any criminal responsibility," he said.
The law that seals underage marriage records dates back to 1897. The law that set marriage age rules, including the approval requirements for underage weddings, dates back even further, to 1887.
"Whatever purpose that once had is long, long expired," Mack said. "It's time to go."
Science supports that opinion. The part of your brain responsible for decision-making does not fully develop until your 20s.
"Since a young person's emotional part is developed but not their logical thinking, lots of times they can be swayed by other people. They can get into what other people want of them, especially if someone is older, more mature," Dr. Matthew Clark, a child psychologist, said.
Ann said even a religious argument for marriages so young doesn't make sense.
"Marriage involves sex, so you aren't making them any more pure by getting married," she said. CHILD BRIDE WANTS CHANGE FOR DAUGHTERS
Ann is still married to the same man. She said he has matured and now agrees they should not have married so young.
Still, she said, she deals with fear and sadness daily.
"Because who knows what I could have done with life not having to stay up all night cleaning," she said.
Ann is finally working on a college degree so she sets an example for her daughters, who inspired her to try and change the law.
"My daughter turned 14 and I could look at her and go, 'Wow, that's not the life I would want for my daughter,'" Ann said. "She's a kid, she should be playing and doing what she wants to do."
I wonder how many of these are happening in Dearborn?
How many of these marriages work out well? You never hear that side of it.
My first thought as well, but don’t those marriages start at around 8 years old? At least that is the precedent of their founder.
When this woman goes to get REAL ID (it’s an enhanced drivers license, all 50 states are supposed to have it in place by 2020- the main point of it is so that if you want to fly BETWEEN STATES you will be allowed, but o course it’s not a national ID/s).
When a married woman, or one with a different last name than that which is on her birthd certificate, said woman has to show how her name was changed. She will have to show her marriage certificate.But, that will only affect girls 16 and older.
That’s actually a fair question.
I have grandparents and great grandparents that married in their mid to early teens and by all accounts not only did they stay married, but it stayed solid.
I’m sure they aren’t the only ones.
So it can go either way.
For the better part of 30 years now, marriage in the USA has been a disaster, with a very high percentage ending in divorce, increasing strife at home for those who stay together, and the kids suffer for it, sometimes for life. Choosing your own partner later in life hasn’t worked so well either.
No wonder more and more kids today shun marriage and simply live together. Or live alone and free and just go from one partner to another.
Dearbornistan is largely under sharia law. Some stinky old islamic judge marries little girls to old men, and that’s it, under sharia. Maybe a few years later the force her to do it again legally, after she’s been living under his roof for a few years, and bore children. Shows up under a bedsheet, kids in tow. Says not a word except “I do.”
Legal? Hell no. But common there, as with the rest of the evil cult of islam.
Ann misunderstands “the religious argument” for early marriage. The point is that sex within marriage is morally licit, while sex outside marriage is not. Churches have regulations regarding the age at which people are considered sufficiently mature to consent to marriage.
When the 18-year-old threatened to kill himself if he didn’t get his way, that should have completely ended it - just walk away - for both her and her parents. Unfortunately, most teenagers and many chronological adults don’t use common sense as often as they should.
Only took one post. Thank you.
This is Islam. Period.
So stupid.
Christian vs Islamic teen marriages:
Islam is an abusive ideology, so don’t confuse Islam with young marriage.
That said, any girl unwilling to be married is abuse. Mostly young guys today have fewer economic opportunities than earlier years “on the farm”.
My take is that the woman in this report is lying to garner sympathy and make it illegal for anyone under the age of 18 to marry. I highly doubt she was pulled out of school at the age of 14 to do “housewifely duties.” Compulsory education does not stop at marriage. Unless Michigan law allowed students to drop out at the age of 14. She may have left school a few years later when it would have been legal for anyone to do. As for her “I can’t believe I was allowed to consent to sex.” I would not be surprised if she got the whole “sex is fine as long as it is about consent” PP talking points in her health or sex ed classes. She may have been the one pushing her parents to get a judge’s consent or their consent.
Yes 14 is too young to marry. And a 48 year old marrying a 14 year old is alarming. But I am pretty sure such incidents are scarce on the ground. I do not think 16 or 17 is too young to marry and this image of 16 or 17 year old young women being child-brides is ludicrous. It should not be the norm and I think requiring parental consent is a reasonable way to make sure someone is not being taken advantage of.
But it does not do society any good if older adolescents are pushed to have sex while at the same time they are told marriage should be delayed well into adulthood.
I went to school with a guy who married at 15 (his wife was also fifteen). This marriage (starting in 1975) lasted around 18 months. Luckily, no kids. I would take a guess that on a yearly basis in this county....in this southern state....probably twenty kids married prior to the 16th birthday.
That was my take too.
Met my girl when she was 14 and got married 11 days after her 16th birthday. Would I have married her at 14 ? Most likely, I was smitten, we were ‘engaged’ on her 15th birthday. No, i’m not from hillbilly country lol.
I have known several that worked out well.
The age differential and the later abuse in the marriage are seperate issues.
When you have a minor who has sexually matured physically, but doesn’t yet have the adult discipline and control to maintain chastity there are no perfect options.
People in her life persuaded her to give marriage a shot. It doesn’t look like her life wound up nearly as bad off as a lot of the alternative life trajectories for teens who dive into sex.
Say it. SAY IT.
My 18-year-old daughter’s first boyfriend (when she was 17) was like that. He would have meltdowns if she didn’t answer his messages while she was in class. He told her she was the only reason he would keep living. We helped her get away from him (fortunately, he was in another state - one of those Internet relationships), and he’s still alive, as far as we know.
Now, she promptly dumps any young man who shows signs of emotional neediness. “He needs to get a pet!”
A good reason relationships in 1966 were different than 2016. In my teen love years me 17, her 14 I was in the Army. First year at bases all over the US and only afford a monthly phone call, but daily letters. Half of second year I was overseas with letters only. So by the time we were 'a courtin' 18 months after meeting we had only been person to person a few times when I could get on leave. No chance to be hooked at the hip with a smartphone.
Yeah, that’s a highly manipulative, controlling feature, that whole “I will die if you don’t make me your top priority” thing. Massive red flag.
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