[pepsi_junkie]

It would be a shame to destroy historical artifacts, but I don’t make the rules.

The government melted down all the gold it could find in the 1930s so you'd just be doing your civic duty to the New Deal.

But I recommend that if you do discover such a cache, your first move should be to mark it on a map and send me a copy. You know, for backup purposes in cas you forget where the gold is.

[Leaning Right]

Old joke:

A cowboy steals a bag of gold from his employer, then hides it. The ranch owner discovers the theft, and grabs the cowboy. The thief speaks only Spanish, and the owner speaks only English.

But one of the other cowboys speaks both languages.

Owner to translator: Tell him I’ll shoot him if he doesn’t say where he hid the gold.
Translator to thief: He says he’ll shoot you unless you tell where the gold is hidden.

Thief to translator: Okay, okay. I’ll tell. I hid the gold under a big rock behind the barn.
Translator to owner: He says he’ll never tell. He dares you to go ahead and shoot.