Imagine these...
ies
...when the SHTF.
The yowling will be unbearable.
Posted on 10/20/2018 2:21:52 PM PDT by blueplum
I guess that I am going to have to be the one to really ask for your forgiveness... I do believe that you did teach your boys right and that whether or not they always appreciated it... it sounds as if it kept them out of trouble, which is really more than I can say for our kids.
Our youngest daughter was very active in her youth group. When she was 16 she seemed proud that she had signed a “chastity agreement” along with the other kids in the group. So we were surprised when she told us about 3 months later that she was pregnant. The young man was also very active in the youth group. He was an extremely good looking kid and there was some competition over him between our daughter and another girl in the group.
He accused our daughter of getting pregnant on purpose. She was the brightest and most capable kid we had so despite her denials, my wife and I suspected that he was probably correct.
Many people would believe that this was a horrendous failure in parenting on our part, but I felt happy that whatever her motivation our daughter came to us and told us about it. These days and even 18 years ago it would have been much easier to get an abortion and never tell us a thing.
So the baby was actually very good natured and never much of a problem. Our daughter finished high school and when our daughter and the boy had both turned 18 they got married. Unfortunately, although they tried it did not last. He ended up marrying the other girl that my daughter had been competing with in the Church group and the two of them stayed together and they are the ones who had custody of our grandson. Our daughter got remarried, got her masters degree in accounting and gave us two other grandkids.
The grandson our daughter had when she was 17 is the most amazing kid that you can imagine. He is incredibly bright and handsome, he is interested in everything and he works all of the time. He is a year ahead of his class in high school, so next year he is going to be taking a diesel mechanic course at a vocational school for free so that he can support himself in Alaska where he plans to go to their world renowned fire academy. He already works in his other grandfather’s business as a mechanic and also has received awards for his volunteer firefighting.
So the point of this whole story is that if you trust in God and do your best, even though things do not always go as planned a lot of times everything turns out OK anyway.
Correction... our grandson has already completed all the requirements he needs to graduate from high school a year ahead of time. He is already in vocational school taking a diesel mechanic course for free while working as a mechanic in his other grandfather’s business and working in his father’s roadside truck tire repair business. Next year he will be moving to Alaska.
“I guess that I am going to have to be the one to really ask for your forgiveness...”
________________________________________
fireman15,
Your words were no needed today. I am humbled by your graciousness.
Your story his so many spots, where would I begin?
First, Praise God! She delivered instead of terminating. What a blessing!
Second, they tried to be a responsible couple. That is so often, even back then, not even thought of by the youngsters or adults involved in this type of situation. God’s grace was upon you and your wife for raising her to see through to the delivery.
Third, though the young man raised your grandson, he himself took it upon himself to be a father to his son. I am sure your daughter would have been a good mother, yet...we do reason that a boy eventually needs a father in his life, and in this case it seems as your grandson has/had a good male bonding. And it seems between all those involved, including yourself and your family, that he’s doing a wonderful job of maturing.
Fourth, he is taking a Vocation Course. This is such a blessing so he can eventually go into what appears his life’s working goal of being a Fireman. What a firm knowledge of his desires! So many young adults these days just want to graduate from High School and then they have absolutely no plans.
There are so many other wonderful things you spoke of in your post back to me. I truly don’t think you realize how many wonderful blessings your post today are giving to those other than just myself.
If you read any of my posts, and I believe you do, you will note I often mention my eldest son. He has worked hard and faced troubles and disappointments and persevered. That was truly not of my doing. I place it at the feet of the Cross. For I, his mom, was not in his life as much as I wanted.
His father’s father raised him for several years because our youngest son was OCD and eventually diagnosed as a Narcissist and we were worried for our eldest son as well as intently watching our youngest son.
You know how you may pray for one child out of fear because he or she may not be in your home? The child in your home, while you have fears, you may deem as safer because, well, he or she’s in your home?
Well, our youngest son almost destroyed us. It happened within weeks of my excepting Christ as my Savior. I have to tell you, it was the most horrible test that I could have imagined. I released my youngest son to the state because he simply could not stay in our home. The state was actually quiet angry at me. Quiet angry.
My youngest son did the same thing in a foster home and almost destroyed their family. I tried to warn the state; they have to find out the hard way, I guess.
So my youngest son was what...granted...I guess...at his 18th birthday freedom from the state. He married a young woman whom from everyone I know is wonderful. He fathered 3 children, 1 who passed at 3 from an illness. Then he divorced from his wife.
I have first-hand knowledge of my former daughter in law or children because on leaving our house he was told by my beloved that he nor his lineage were welcome in our home or on our property unless he made amends for the lies and damage. My son apologized to me at one time simply saying he didn’t like living under our roof. I believe, truly believe, his biological father put him up to certain acts because his biological father fought paying any child support...I mean...at all... So in the state’s care, I paid my share of the child support... every month, every penny demanded... the state came to me in frustration when my youngest son showed his true colors and they were upset that my youngest son’s father did not pay a single dime.
How do you begin to explain to the state about Dungeons and Dragons? How do you explain to the state that, yes, there is truly a thing as Witchcraft, and yes, apparently youngsters do like to think they can do things invoking the name of satan....? And this was years before I even heard of a series of books about children and witchraft...
Over the years my father, who just loves to interrupt and control lives has kept me updated, whether I wanted it or not, on the young man’s status.
I love my youngest son. I worry, yes, for those in his life. I also hope and pray he comes to know Christ as his Savior. Whether or not he can make amends is another issue. Coming to know Christ as his Savior is my hope for his life and soul.
My eldest, however, was/is a different story. He’s had rough times and been disappointed by his biological father so many times...how does a father not pay a son for working in the family business by saying he’s putting away all the money owed him for college and then tell the child that well, I really didn’t put any of your money in an account?
My eldest son, upon hearing this, simply told my father that he’d just have to work for several years more and save for college. I was not able to help him because of the monies it cost during my youngest son’s inflicted damage upon I and my beloved. My father was so overcome by my eldest son’s simply explaining it and having no fleshly-anger at his biological father...my father and my son’s father’s father decided to pay for his college. What a blessing it was!
So. I know both boys are sinners. The eldest drove from Maryland to Texas to have our pastor baptize him. I cannot begin to explain the sheer joy that day brought. My beloved was actually the one to be able to talk with my eldest because the both are ‘logical,’ and believe me, I don’t even begin to operate on their level. The Lord God uses so many ways to bring Christ into our lives.
My eldest now is engaged to a lovely Filipina. Who, unfortunately is in the PI. She lives next to my former father-in-law who went back to the PI. As he’s a widower, her mom helps him with the house and cooks for him. One evening she mentioned her young daughter. Next thing I know all the family members are seated at a table facing her and giving her the vetting process.
My eldest was extremely hesitant about this, especially because he father was part of this plan. LOL Funny at this point... Yet after several months, he communicated with her via e-mails and Skype. She is so far out in the country the Skype works very rarely. My son visited her and it was wonderful.
After I became a Christian, I told him over and over that I was praying that he not meet any girl to fall in love with because I wanted a Christian bride for him. The afternoon after his baptism I told him that I would begin asking the Lord God for a bride. It was well over a year before he told me about her. He wanted to make sure how they felt and what her beliefs about Christ were and about her beliefs on the 2nd Amendment. On both it was a positive note. Wonderful!
The hitch? Well, he works with our government. I mean, as in he had to tell them every step of the way about their relationship. And he’s waiting on the okay now, for their being able to be married...by our government.
So now he’s engaged to a lovely 26 year old, God fearing woman who believes in the 2nd Amendment. And thanks to all the illegals, she, a IT trained young women, is waiting for approval to marry my son. Am I thrilled with this wait? Not in the least. Do I understand it? Yes. Still don’t like it.
I understand how what is feared about and what we plan may differ from the reality of life. Oh, you are right about what is planned may not turn out what we plan! I have already told my eldest if it is the Lord God’s plan for him to marry this young woman, he is free to go marry her and live with her in the PI. I would rather have him follow the Lord’s directions than my motherly wishes. Not easy and I can attest...
And my youngest? Still hoping and praying...
On those days when things get rough, I fully intend to pull up your post to me...it is full with examples of truth, emotion, and the love a parent needs to have in this life!
Thank you fireman15, so very much, for your kindness.
CORRECTOIN: I have NO first-hand knowledge of my former daughter in law or children because on leaving our house he was told by my beloved that he nor his lineage were welcome in our home or on our property unless he made amends for the lies and damage.
“People who are drinkers do not feel comfortable around those who do not imbibe.”
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I rather think, fireman15, it’s like those who are compulsive eaters have problems with those who are healthy eaters. I’m not talking about the virtue-signaling healthy eaters who put people down all the time...those even I have a problem with. LOL
I’m currently plump. Okay. Fat. Working on getting down. Been doing exercises to where the inches are falling off and still not one pound dropped. My doctor’s impressed and tells me not to worry although she’s puzzled by so many inches leaving without a pound leaving. What can I say? My body’s just stubborn.
I know of some folks who are ‘weighty’ and don’t want to be around just normal sized folks.
I have wine maybe twice a year. About 6 ounces in a nice little glass. My beloved pours it for me. My father had a drinking issue back when he was really young and I know it can be a problem, so it’s better for my beloved to be part of this process for me. LOL Kosher wine, Blueberry or Raspberry is choice.
My beloved’s family has seen drinking issues so he’s extremely careful, as well.
And the Marijuana issue? So agree with you. The states that pass it are STUNNED they’re having problems. HELLO??? I guess they didn’t see what was happening to California!
Imagine these...
ies
...when the SHTF.
The yowling will be unbearable.
Ack. I knew my mind was recalling the correct diagnosis. My beloved corrected me: my youngest was diagnosed ADD, in addition to Narcissistic Sociopath.
He was curious as to why I was typing so long. LOL
My beloved is my 3rd husband and not the father of the boys. He welcomed them into his life, for good and/or bad. So grateful to still be married after all the harm caused by my youngest.
Some of us just take longer than others to make a correct decision. We’ve been together 31 years.
Well, I do owe you an apology because I completely misjudged your situation. My wife and I have been very blessed, but we like everyone have faced some challenges. She was abused in just about every possible awful way before we met. She had some issues related to that.
I congratulate you on surviving your challenges with your youngest son. There is no one who can hurt you more than your children.
Seriousballs? She was hugged and kissed on the cheek? The “perpetrator” was probably drunk.
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