If you look up the word "nationalist" the first synonym is "patriotic".
If you look up the word "patriot" the first synonym is "nationalist".
They two words are synonyms.
Yes, both nationalist and patriot can be used in a derogatory sense, as in "chauvinist", "jingoist", "xenophobe", etc., etc.
But those describe a pathological condition of excessive or misdirected nationalism-patriotism.
So the two words -- nationalist and patriotic -- mean the same things and can be used interchangeably.
The real problem in our country today is neither too much nationalism nor patriotism, but something very different: tribalism -- people who hate their country to favor their "tribe", be it race, ethnicity, political ideology, gender, etc., etc.
Shirt version: “If you can hear the dog whistle YOU are the dog.”
These people you speak of want to be treated DIFFERENTLY because of their race, ethnicity, political ideology, or gender, but they then want to hide behind the Constitution when they are treated DIFFERENTLY.
And yet they don't see the problem.
Thanks for your last statement. I think it fits our times perfectly.