I do the same thing...my wife is not necessarily a 2nd Amendment person, though her father and brothers all had firearms...and when I ponder these kinds of things, she doesn’t appear to understand why I think about them. I can work with that...it isn’t a prerequisite for me that she knows or understands.
I have no idea how I am going to respond if I am ever in a situation where I have to use a firearm. I have never been in combat more than a non-deadly physical struggle with someone, but I hope to God that if my life or the life of someone else depends on my actions...I can do what is needed.
But who ever knows in advance how they will respond.
But when I read about these situations here on FR, I make sure to think long and hard about them, turn them over in my mind, so that I can have a judgment stored away.
I live in a Blue State. If I ever have to use deadly force, I am likely to get the shaft from the state even if I have done what a reasonable person might do. I am trying to learn the laws more concretely so that when I analyze these things I can do so in the framework of our restrictive state laws on the use of deadly force. We do not have a “stand your ground” statute here, and I have a gut feeling that even if someone had a weapon pointed at me and I shot and harmed them, I could be nailed to the hull by the state.
No two situations are likely to be alike.
But I think there is value to doing this mental exercise. I would rather have taken the time to at least think about it, than to find myself in a situation that is completely new and unique in my mind with no frame of reference.
That would be far worse, I think.
Your observations need to be noted by others here - nobody knows how they will react until the situation is upon them - very true of myself - and all we can do is prepare best we can. I’ve seen many assert how bad-ass and cool they would be - hope they never have to find out because it might cause a catatonic reaction when their ego is deflated.