Replies

Donald J. Trump, President of the United States
1600 Pennsylvania Avenue, N.W.
Washington, D.C.

Re: State of the Union

Dear Speaker Pelosi and Majority Leader McConnell:

The state of the Union is generally quite good. Notably, the economy is humming along quite nicely, with low unemployment and rising pay. Regarding foreign trade problems, I’m almost done putting China down for the count, and Mexico, Canada, Japan and the Europeans have already capitulated...and the shithole countries everywhere else don’t matter.

Regarding foreign and defense policy, we’ve considerably strengthened our military, but that is an ongoing process. I’ve brought home troops not needed in combat, and I have thoroughly intimidated the Russians, Chinese, Iranians and North Koreans into doing essentially nothing. Everyone else is either an ally, or a shithole country that means nothing.

Regarding domestic politics and immigration, I’ve started the process of vanquishing the big spenders and those who think that they represent citizens of Mexico and other shithole countries, rather than citizens of these great United States (yes, Nancy, that means YOU). Pretty soon, they will realize that they cannot out-think me, and will capitulate. Then I will have our American contractors build a great, big Wall to protect our people from illegal foreign invaders. Oh, and I’m looking forward to continuing to remaking the judiciary by nominating people who actually read and understand the Constitution.

That’s about it, have a nice year.

The Donald