With an article title that alarming, frightening, it’s best we all just kill ourselves....
They make it sound like it's never happened before. I remember getting stuck in Lancaster, Pa. in January, 2000 when an ice storm had covered the area, and temperatures dipped down to -40 or so. I tried to start my old VW, but it wouldn't turn over. Called AAA to get a jump start, and the woman said: "And where do you think you'd be going once you got your car started?" Everything was closed, the outlet malls, even Route 81, as trucks had jackknifed on it, so there was no going home for me. I had a cast on my left wrist which I had broken in a fall, and had an appointment that week to get it removed.
I remember sitting in my hotel room watching television, and all of a sudden the power went out. Later I found out that the power company was doing rolling blackouts in the area to compensate for the cold temperatures. The one diner that was open across the street, didn't have power to cook by, but at least they had cold sandwiches, so I headed over there to eat. I ended up having to stay two extra days in Lancaster until it got warm enough for my car to start and head home to NY State. Once I did get to leave, the ice on the road was so thick and riddled with bumps, that I actually ruined the set of tires I had on the car, and ended up replacing them after I got home.
Accordingly, in order to save the climate, i have decided not to kill myself, but to pour another slug of fine French cognac. Made from vines that help remove carbon dioxide, two for one.