I will say this: I stayed home seventeen years raising kids. It was brutal. No rest, ever, family holidays, up at night, loneliness, people treating you like nothing. The family pathology is magnified when one person is the family slave, everyone else had a life except me. If I had it to do over, I would have worked and gotten a nanny.
Sometimes I feel the same way! I am sorry that that is how our culture treats the normal, healthy, necessary, human instinct to sacrifice oneself for the sake of nurturing and supporting others.