I have known a few gays who were comfortable with what they were because they were not the self-loathing narcissists most gays are. However, it appears that a great many are the self-loathing narcissist type. They have to legislate acceptance of their lifestyles before they can be comfortable in their own skin. Eventually, they will have to start interning or executing Christians and others who disapprove.
I know many who are also comfortable and not the least bit ‘activist’. We have different opinions and that’s ok. We really do get along well with mutual respect.
Perhaps, as you noted it is the narcissist type that demands attention causing discourse.