I don’t blame the HOA’s; if you sign a contract to behave / maintain your property in a certain way I expect people to live up to their signed contracts.
My nearest neighbor is 2 miles away (I live in the real boondocks), I don’t bother him/he doesn’t bother me.
Personally I would never buy into an HOA area, but I understand the people who do.
Damn, you are reasonable and thoughtful, are you sure you belong on FR?
;-)