Posted on 08/11/2020 3:26:31 PM PDT by Mount Athos
Chicago Mayor Drives Past Looters To Arrest 7-Year-Old Having A Birthday Party (SATIRE)
Babylon Bee ^ | August 10, 2020 | Babylon Bee
CHICAGO, IL—Chicago Mayor Lori Lightfoot protected the citizens of Chicago yesterday by arresting a 7-year-old having a birthday party.
The mayor reportedly jumped in her car and drove over toward the boy’s house, waving at looters, rioters, and murderers as she passed. Bricks, Molotov cocktails, and hand grenades flew over her car as she hurtled down the streets of Chicago, careening down alleyways and ripping through parking lots to get to the illegal party.
“Drop the cake and put your hands behind your head,” Lightfoot said. “Nice and easy — you’re coming with me.”
“The streets are now safe,” Lightfoot said as she led the boy to a Chicago PD squad car. “The citizens of Chicago can rest easy knowing that unlawful gatherings like this party are being broken up.”
“We feel much safer now that this maniac is behind bars,” said one Chicagoan as he hid in his house from looters. “I was really worried when I heard that a few people were gathering for a party. Now I know we’re safe.”
“We were concerned she was coming to take us down,” said one looter as he threw a brick into the window of a Target. “But she just passed us right on by. She definitely has her priorities in the right place.”
On her way back from arresting the youngster, Lightfoot pulled over to lecture a rioter who wasn’t wearing a mask. Once he had put his mask back on, she told him to go about his business.
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EMBRACE the SUCK you STUPID DEMOCRATS!
NYC was once a prosperous capitalist city. There were many good reasons for people wanting to live there and be part of its commercial and culural life. This was just not acceptable to the marxists. Their tactics come right out of the Marx/Lenin playbook. Emasculate the police, no arrests, no prosecutions and the release of felons from prison. Soon capitalism and peaceful living become impossible. Business and people leave.Yet most do not realize or recognize what is happening to them. Residential and commercial real estate declines in value and decays. The “revolutionary vanguard” take over and rule the unfotunate people who remain. A harsh new unhappy reality is established.
If your city has Soviet style bread lines you have no need for large retail chains and upscale restaurants. All you need are Commissars, Block Wardens, and ration cards. Maybe a GUM store in the middle of Manhattan would be nice too.
~$10,000 / day
It’s a big nut.
Problem is that these people have short memories. They’ll move somewhere else and then vote in idiots like the ones they elected in NY. They never learn.
“....$264,000 monthly rent....”
Gotta move a lot of rags to pay that rent. How on earth does a store like that pay to run.
Who would insure them?
[[[Rural America was devastated the last 30 years now it is going to be reborn.]]]
Yeah, great.
I haven’t looked in a while but I’m almost positive that more than one of my business policies disclaim any payout for losses related to insurrection.....
Why should they??? No telling when the blacks get pissed off again
Good job, Warren!
Shysters? Really? Not cool.
No matter how bad the progressives have screwed the pooch in one locale, they have to have people think it’s worse somewhere else. If it’s not, they will just make something up. There is no lie too big for the left if it means advancing their agenda.
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