all 3 of my kids were aces at it by 15 years old. the focus immediately turned to MY words/actions/behavior when trying to be a father and correcting them!! one finally came around at 26 years old. the other 2, well id be lucky if I seen them again This is truly a mental pandemic in the world today!!
About 30 years ago I worked with abused women, and it seemed that subtle gaslighting by a spouse often was how it started. It broke them. I’m sure it happens in reverse, i.e., for women manipulating men, too.
“This is truly a mental pandemic in the world today!!”
And I think that it will stay here for ever. We need to develop an effective defense against gaslighting.
That’s not just your kids or ex-wife. Pretty much every human being is an expert WELL WHAT ABOUT YOU’er. It’s the wide road device to deflect truth. We’ve all had to learn from authorities who said one thing and did another. But was the teaching actually of truth? If so we’re individually on the hook for it, to respond to it in spite of another’s hypocrisy.
“The scribes and Pharisees sit in Moses’ seat. So practice and observe everything they tell you. But do not do what they do,”—Jesus
My wife does this really well. The result is: no criticism, otherwise it turns into me, me, me, why are you so hostel?
Result: I never talk about anything of consequence. Rather pathetic isn’t it.