So in order to buy and sell using private crypto, I will need to be a criminal. Swell.
? Can you explain what makes anyone transacting with crypto a criminal? Are people also criminals every time they use cash (that's pretty private/untraceable), or silver or anything else? You've lost me.
Keep in mind cryptocurrency is just an asset, like a gold nugget or a cow or a phone. Anything can be used in barter for a transaction for anything else in principal. Cryptocurrency is just far more convenient as a medium of exchange, being impossible to counterfeit or forge a check in, having provable scarcity, being free of censorship and clawbacks (no blocked or reversed TX), and able to transact globally in seconds to minutes.