A Morning in the Life of a Terrorist

The dark recesses of my mind | Sept 22, 2001 | Me

[Born to Conserve]

Hummmmmmm, I wonder what we have in the arsenal, that we have not been told about.

A morning in the life of a terrorist:

Day 23:

2:00 am -- rolled out from under my blanket in this 30ft deep bunker by the shock waves from a bunker buster -- it probably pulverized the bunkers on the other side of the valley. I soiled my pants, could not get back to sleep.

3:00 am -- startled by flashes from the light bulbs, showers of sparks from all the phone and electric wires, and puffs of smoke from every piece of electronic gear in sight. There was a loud explosion at the other end of the tunnel -- the munitions room. My flashlight exploded. I think it must have been some sort of evil American EMP weapon -- all the stinger missiles have blown up or are disabled, the generator for the lights and the ventilators has been destroyed, and all communications are out.

4:00 am -- Rashid went above ground to take a dump before daylight; he was drilled by an automatically operated mini gun mounted on an unmanned, infrared equipped, anti personnel drone before he got 10ft from the hole. There are too many pieces of Rashid for him to be moved. Abdullah saw him get hit; first it cut him in halves, throwing them apart in the air, then it cut the halves in half. Took my own dump in the corner of our vault. I have diarrhea.

5:00 am -- The brothers in the next bunker tried to run for it and scatter in the hillside below our bunker. The entire hillside -- including our camp -- exploded in flaming napalm. Some of the burned brothers are screaming to be let in to our bunker, but we don't want to open the door -- we don't have enough water for them -- they'll die soon anyway.

6:00 am -- More bunker busters have been shaking the ground; sooner or later it will be our turn. There are rumors that the evil Americans have mixed the entrails of pigs with their napalm. The bunker smells of urine and burnt hair. I haven't eaten in four days -- we have food, but I can't keep it down. I think the Americans have learned a lot from their decadent Sci-fi war movies.

7:00 am -- I am praying to Allah to let the Americans have mercy on us, not sure which direction to pray -- It's going to be a long day . . . . I wish it would end.

O.B.L.

[Billy_bob_bob]

I like your idea about automatically operated mini-guns. How about this idea; you put together little tracked micro-tanks, guided by sensors and a microprocessor based brain, maybe with a little neural network technology added to make it able to learn. Arm it with a small gun or an explosive charge. Add solar cells so that it can recharge when the battery gets low. Design it to be cheap enough so that we can build tens of thousands of them, and then drop them all over where we want to inflict damage. Imagine the little beggars going down tunnels and into crevasses, and then activating when they get close to something that has the right thermal, motion or audio profile. Add an automatic self-destruct so that if they are out in the field too long without finding anything they neutralize themselves. Call them "Hunter-Killer tracked robots".

So, what do you think?

[Howie66]

American ingenuity....gotta LOVE it! Kill all the bastards and let GOD sort them out.

[holyscroller]

I'll check the cookie jar, but I'd like to order a dozen or so.

[Born to Conserve]

Check with the toy manufacturers, they probably have the chassies ready to go.

I recall seeing a "Made by Mattel" label on the plastic stock of an M-16.

[cerberus]

I love it! How about an encore.