No one can fracture a Christmas carol better than a kid. Sing along with these new takes on old favorites:
* Deck the Halls with Buddy Holly.
* We three kings of porridge and tar...
* On the first day of Christmas my tulip gave to me...
* Later on we'll perspire, as we dream by the fire.
* He's makin' a list, chicken and rice.
* Noel. Noel, Barney's the king of Israel.
* With the jelly toast proclaim...
* Olive, the other reindeer...
* Frosty the Snowman is a ferret elf, I say.
* Sleep in heavenly peas.
* In the meadow we can build a snowman, Then pretend that he is sparse and brown.
* You'll go down in listerine.
* Oh, what fun it is to ride with one horse, soap and hay.
T'was the night before christmas and all through DC,
not a creature was stirring except Marion B.
The streets were abandoned, while drug dealers slept,
but the mayor in his limo, through northwest he crept.
A silver spoon was hung from his neck with great care,
in hopes that Charles Lewis soon would be there.
When, all at once there arose such a clatter,
he halted his limo to see what was the matter.
And what, to his wondering eyes should appear,
but a pile of white powder, a mountain of cheer.
He jumped from the limo, lickety split.
Five minutes later the mayor was lit.
He snorted and shoveled that coke up his nose.
His eyes were all bloodshot and glowed like a rose.
Back to the limo he ran like a flash.
Now that that's gone let's go home to my stash.
I heard him exclaim with no hint of strife,
I'll snort if I like, I'm mayor for life.